Tuesday, August 17, 2010


No, not me...well, not that I know of anyways!

Actually, we found out yesterday that my big brother and SIL are expecting. Yeah, the ones that got married July 3rd.

Last month.

They weren't trying.

It just happened.

He called and told me and was so excited. I gave my best "I'm SO excited!!" self on the phone and told him I was so happy, etc...

Then I got off the phone and I broke down.

I am NOT sad that they are pregnant. That is a beautiful blessing and I am overjoyed for them.

I was sad for me. For my husband. We have been trying so hard for over 2.5 years and they weren't trying and got pregnant within the first few weeks of their marriage.

After I talked with my DH, he agreed that it was a joyful occasion, but that it was still a little hard to hear. We both agreed that we would pray for them and that everything would go smoothly with the pregnancy. Then my DH reminded me that our time would come. That we just had to keep on trusting.

We left shortly after that for dinner with his side of the family and as we drove there I asked God to please give my heart peace. I prayed that He would allow me to fully embrace and be happy for my brother and not have any pains or sorrows to muddy those joyful feelings.

Well, later in the night my BIL (he's in the seminary and he's great!) joked that it made sense that the oldest sibling would have the first child.

Then it hit me like a ton of bricks.

My "ah-ha" moment that I had asked for.

The peace.

My brother had watched as I met my DH, fell in love, got engaged and then married. He then watched as our youngest brother met his now wife, fell in love, got engaged and then married. All before meeting his love.

We had many a talks during these times about how he desired so badly to meet his future wife. To fall in love, as both me and our younger brother had.

He had waited and trusted in God's will for his life. And a couple years ago, he met his now wife. Fell in love. And got married.

It's truly amazing when one's vocation is fulfilled.

So you know what...last night just a few short hours after my initial "why us, why is it so hard for us, poor us, etc..." my heart was OVER filled with JOY for my big brother. He deserves this so much. He waited and trusted in God's will for his life and now he's blessed with a little soul that will call him Dad.

I love the sound of that. My big brother being a Dad. He's going to rock it!

And you know what, I know that our time will come and it will be amazing.

So for now, I'm just sitting here and trusting God's will and hoping for some rain in this STINKIN' hot Texas weather...

"Be faithful in small things because it is in them that your strength lies." (Mother Teresa)


  1. Congratulations on becoming an aunt!! I'm so glad that you have found peace and true joy in this situation. How wonderful that your brother in law is a seminarian! I would love to have a priest in my family! :)
    I will be praying for you that you will have your own good news sometime very soon. :)

  2. Man...I saw that title and was SO excited for you... then as I read, I could feel your pain. I know that feeling... When you should be (and are) happy for someone... But it's still painful too. I love your ah-ha moment... What a great way to look at everything! And yay for being an aunt!! :)

  3. Congratulations on becoming an aunt. How wonderful that you were able to look beyond your frustration with your own wait to see the blessing that your brother has found especially since he waited so long to met his wife.

  4. Congrats to your brother, and to you for becoming an aunt! Being an Aunt is a very special thing, your very lucky!
    I'm so glad that yu were able to find peace and be that much more happy for your brother. :)

  5. Wow, you fooled me with the title! HA! But I love the outcome....What a great attitude, and congratulations on becoming an aunt!!

  6. That post title was cruel! Ha!

    I've been there. The initial "why me" and then finding the joy in the situation. Congratulations on your new family member. Your going to love being an aunt and I'm sure this little baby will be a great cousin for your own.

  7. Been there, done that, but there is JOY to be found and it sounds like you found it as well! (Not that momentarily the news it is not painful.) My BIL and SIL got married 14 months after us and got pregnant on their honeymoon. They are celebrating their 1 year anniversary next week and have a darling little 11 week old baby. What a cutie he is and we are blessed to have another nephew. I too hope and pray both our times are coming as well!

  8. You are very wise. Knowing that God provides in His own time is very important to trust. I have a sneaking feeling that your time will come a lot sooner than you expect. ;)

  9. I also know how you are feeling...I was so happy for my sister for each one of her announcements, but sad for myself. You are strong...in both faith and trust!


Thank you so much for your comments...they mean more to me than you know!! :)