PREGNANT!!!!!

No, not me...well, not that I know of anyways!

Actually, we found out yesterday that my big brother and SIL are expecting. Yeah, the ones that got married July 3rd.

Last month.

They weren't trying.

It just happened.

He called and told me and was so excited. I gave my best "I'm SO excited!!" self on the phone and told him I was so happy, etc...

Then I got off the phone and I broke down.

I am NOT sad that they are pregnant. That is a beautiful blessing and I am overjoyed for them.

I was sad for me. For my husband. We have been trying so hard for over 2.5 years and they weren't trying and got pregnant within the first few weeks of their marriage.

After I talked with my DH, he agreed that it was a joyful occasion, but that it was still a little hard to hear. We both agreed that we would pray for them and that everything would go smoothly with the pregnancy. Then my DH reminded me that our time would come. That we just had to keep on trusting.

We left shortly after that for dinner with his side of the family and as we drove there I asked God to please give my heart peace. I prayed that He would allow me to fully embrace and be happy for my brother and not have any pains or sorrows to muddy those joyful feelings.

Well, later in the night my BIL (he's in the seminary and he's great!) joked that it made sense that the oldest sibling would have the first child.

Then it hit me like a ton of bricks.

My "ah-ha" moment that I had asked for.

The peace.

My brother had watched as I met my DH, fell in love, got engaged and then married. He then watched as our youngest brother met his now wife, fell in love, got engaged and then married. All before meeting his love.

We had many a talks during these times about how he desired so badly to meet his future wife. To fall in love, as both me and our younger brother had.

He had waited and trusted in God's will for his life. And a couple years ago, he met his now wife. Fell in love. And got married.

It's truly amazing when one's vocation is fulfilled.

So you know what...last night just a few short hours after my initial "why us, why is it so hard for us, poor us, etc..." my heart was OVER filled with JOY for my big brother. He deserves this so much. He waited and trusted in God's will for his life and now he's blessed with a little soul that will call him Dad.

I love the sound of that. My big brother being a Dad. He's going to rock it!

And you know what, I know that our time will come and it will be amazing.

So for now, I'm just sitting here and trusting God's will and hoping for some rain in this STINKIN' hot Texas weather...


"Be faithful in small things because it is in them that your strength lies." (Mother Teresa)