Rainy day...

It's a rainy day.
It's dreary.
I think that the weather knew that AF would come today and so it thought "time to get dreary and rainy to mimic how she's going to feel!"
Good grief!

Ok, so a lot has happen since last time I posted. I know, I know...it's been almost a year so obviously a lot has happened! But nonetheless...here I go:

Well, since last time I posted I have been going into my doctor's office monthly (sometimes more) in hopes that the medicine (Clomid, Fermera, etc...) has helped to stimulate these ovaries of mine! Hoping and praying with each sonogram that they will find a least one matured follicle. Well, each appointment followed with nothing new...no growth...nothing even bigger than the rest to be able to measure.

However, much to our surprise last appointment a couple weeks ago there were a couple follicles that had actually matured! We were shocked and in disbelief and in total awe! Tears filled my eyes and you would think that I had found out I was pregnant because I was SO excited. Well, we took the honker of a shot, HCG, and went home and did our part! ;) The doctor was so excited that there was some progress and then informed us of when we should test. I was so joyful at this point. In the entire 2.5 years that we have been married we have never been in a position where it was even a possibility of being pregnant and getting to test. This was a first and it felt amazing.

Fast forward to today. Like I mentioned earlier, AF came today. Wahoo. I had prayed and felt so at peace with how everything was happening and thought surely this was our month. I guess God has different plans. I am not going to lie, I cried this morning when I discovered my friend had arrived. I was hurt and sad and so many other emotions all rolled into one. Then I reminded myself that HIS timing is far more perfect than anything I could picture in my mind. Yes, I had thought this month was the perfect month. I dreamed and imagined how this couldn't be any more of a perfect time for us. Boy was I wrong. But I know that HE has grand plans for us and I will continue to offer this up.

The positive is that we will do the exact same days and amounts of medicine as last month since it worked. So, that in itself brings about a lot more hope that any other month. Here's praying that those follicles get bigger and we are able to "try" again.

In none fertility news, things have been great since I quit my job. I haven't been stressed or down because of my crazy boss. I have been able to do fun projects (like the fun new wall art about our bed; I'll post pictures later), cook dinner for my amazing husband who, because of his hard work and support, makes it possible for me to stay at home right now, and have way more family time.

Well, I guess that's it for now. I'm excited about entering the blogging world!

Welcome!

So, I am jumping on the blog-band wagon! I have a couple of friends that have started blogging, mostly because they are keeping everyone updated on pregnancies, life, etc..., and I am excited to join in to blog about me and my husband's journey to starting our family.

We both know that God has it just the two of us right now for a reason and for that we are blessed. There are days that are harder than others, but we are only human and well, we struggle. I guess I think blogging will be a good way to chart our journey and our struggles with beginning our little family, in HIS perfect timing. I will not blog everyday and there will be times that I am hopeful and there will be times that I am down, but regardless of the mood, the one thing I am sure of is that God has amazing plans for both Tom and I.

O.k., so a bit more about what I keep referring to us "struggling" with starting our family. We started talking openly last January (08) about trying to have child and with this came Doctor's visits because I am rather irregular. My old Doctor had a few tests run to make sure everything was "in good working order" and prescribed some medicine to help regulate me. About 6 months or so into this, not much was changing and they said that I needed to see a specialist. Hearing the world specialist made my stomach turn and my world spin faster than normal. My husband was amazing and supportive and said that my other Doctor didn't know what they were doing and that he knew that in God's perfect timing we would conceive.

My husband has been an amazing support throughout all these ups and downs. He constantly reminds me that we are just the two of us right now because that's how God wants it and if we have trusted in His will for our lives up to this point, why would we think any differently now? The answer is we wouldn't and that I needed to trust completely. I knew in my hear that God would bless us with a child and that the wait will definitely be worth it because it's not in our timing, but in His alone.

So after realizing that we needed to see "a specialist" I remembered that my good friend had used Doctor M and Dr. P, two very pro-life/Catholic doctors, and so we thought we would arrange to meet with them. I had my first appointment with Dr. P in August '08 and he ran tests [my tubes are opened, my ovaries are looking good with viable eggs (but unfortunately I have PCOS) and my uterus is in good shape] and told me everything looks good. It's just that since I am irregular I do not ovulate (either on my own or just once in a blue moon) which makes it really hard to plan to get pregnant.

For now, we are charting and will following up next month, or rather I should say in a few weeks, to see where to next. By charting Dr. P will be able to tell some of what we can do. He is hopeful, that since I am young and healthy and that everything looks good, that we will conceive. Once again, in HIS perfect timing.

I look at this struggle as God teaching us patience. It's a lot like the deployments that my husband has been on...the months and months of waiting and praying are worth the homecoming. When we can finally announce to every that we are pregnant, that will be our homecoming; well worth it.

We have so many friends that are pregnant or that have children and this can be hard; especially those that weren't trying and happen to get pregnant. Although there are times that I wish it were like that for us I don't envy them because I know that if it was like that for us, it wouldn't be us, it wouldn't be our story.

For now, I will blog the ups and downs of this little adventure. I most certainly will not write about the struggles of getting pregnant every time because it's not what makes us who we are. I will not dwell every single moment of every single day about how difficult it can be because I refuse to sacrifice the now, the amazing life that God has blessed both my DH and I with.

God is good and He has many things in store for us. He has blessed us both beyond our wildest dreams and we know that, in His perfect timing, He will bless us with a little one to share this love and these blessings with.

That's all for now!