I promise to blog more

I promise to blog more.

I really do.

I hate that it's been so long since I've blogged and also since I've been commenting....

...let's just say I've been having a sort of blogger identity crisis [onceIFbutnowwithbabeandstillsomuchmore].

But anyways...I'm still here...and doing well...and plan to jump back into blogging soon!

Sew thankful...sew cute!

A pretty blogger took the time to not only send little miss a cute dress but she made it!

We're working on sitting up as you can tell! ;)

Thanks again Sew ! :) We love it!

One year ago today.

This happened.

My goodness how time has flown by.

Cherishing these precious moments.


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Mother's Day gifts through the years...

I'm sure you are wondering what I mean by Mother's Day gifts through the years-especially since this was my first Mother's Day this year.
Let me explain...

Mother's Day 2008: We had been married 11 months and had already been working with a doctor for 4 months.  I was blissfully hoping that we would be pregnant by this time but we were not.  Even though it hadn't even been a full year of us getting married, that first Mother's Day was still a little hard because we were realizing that it wasn't going to be quite as simple to get pregnant as we had hoped for.  So, that Mother's Day I bought myself a gift-a little something to help me get through the day and help me to not lose hope:

 Mother's Day 2009: Still battling IF, I decided to continue my little tradition that I had started the year before and went out and bought myself another gift, all the while hoping that this would be the last year that I would have to buy my own Mother's Day gift (God obviously had way different plans).  I picked out another cross, how appropriate that this was one of the first I saw:

Mother's Day 2010: Another year goes by and I go out and buy myself another gift...another little reminder to not give up, this one is called the "Angel of Hope":

Mother's Day 2011: I liked my idea of buying myself a Willow Tree figure, so out I went not knowing if I would find one that would be appopriate for my non-mother-Mother's Day gift for myself, but when I saw the "Angel of Health" I bought it and begged God to help heal my body of PCOS: 

Mother's Day 2012: Little did I know that I was already a mama at this point and the funny thing is, we were out of town with family and so I never had a chance to go out and buy myself something.  

Mother's Day 2013: I actually thought about the fact that this year I wouldn't be partaking in that little tradition that I had started with myself back in 2008, instead my dh was excitedly thinking of a special gift to get me.  And boy did he exceed all my expectations for a first Mother's Day gift.  When we woke up that morning, he said that he and F had a little something for me, along with two beautiful cards.  He pulled out a jewelry bag from the same place he had bought my pearl earrings for our wedding, and inside was the most beautiful, thoughtful piece of jewelry that he designed (he picked out each pendant himself!).  The opal is for us (our birthstone) and the amethyst is of course for our sweet little one.  I cried when I saw it and I know it's something that I will cherish forever:

Now, some people may think that I am crazy for buying myself gifts on a day that was such a painful day, but for me it was something that I had to do for myself and regardless of all the exact reasons...it seemed to help me.  Looking back I am so glad that I started that tradition with myself all those years ago-looking at each of those things now, I am reminded of where we came from, I am reminded that even in the midst of some really difficult days, I still hoped.

"We have to choose joy and keep choosing it." [Henri Nouwen]

Perspective

This past week has been tough. Our once great sleeper has had some rough nights. Before she was going down around 8 and sleeping until 4 or 5, nursing and then back to sleep until 8.

But we are going on a week of some pretty tough nights.

Maybe it's a growth spurt...
Maybe it's the 3-4 month sleep regression...
Maybe it's teething...
Maybe she's needing to be weened from her swaddle...

Either way, last night was.the.worst.

Up every hour (or less!) needing comforting to settle.
Which means no sleep for me (she still sleeps in a bassinet in our room).

Around 3:00 I went to change her and nurse her and as I go to pull off her swaddle, I noticed the onesie my dh had put her in:

And it was at that moment, the moment of sheer exhaustion from this not really sleeping for nearly a week, the moment where my eyes burned from not being shut long enough to be refreshed, the moment where I was on the brink of tears desperately wishing my dh didn't work at night, that I saw the words, "I was so worth the wait!"

And it was then that my eyes filled with tears of joy instead of tears of exhaustion.
My heart swelled with joy looking at this precious miracle of ours.


Yes, somedays are hard.
Some nights are hard.
Somedays I feel like a rock star of a wife and mom.
Somedays I feel like a disaster and feel completely lost.
Somedays motherhood seems to come easily.
Somedays I struggle.

But one thing's for sure, I count my blessings in those good days and in those not so good days and look at her sweet little face and think, "yes my little one, you were so worth the wait!"

Im so glad my dh decided to put her in that onesie (first time she's worn it actually!!) because in the midst of this chaotic week, it helped me to take a deep breath, offer up a prayer and count my blessings.

It most certainly helped me to put things into perceptive.

Crazy things people say...

Thankfully this post is not another story about people saying rude comments-like my last one-no this one was more awkward!

A couple days ago I was walking around kohls and this lady comes up to me and says, "Oh yeah, I didn't think that was a real baby!!"

A confused me, while looking down at F in her stroller, goes, "Umm...she is a real baby!!"

Then she tells me that she thought that it was my baby doll for a school project! I laughed afterwards thinking about the fact that she thought I was in high school and that she thought F was a baby doll!

It could have stopped there (like I shared on fb) but the sorta awkward woman came back to me and continued on...
Rambling on about how she's seen some crazy people carry around baby dolls that look like they're real babies and she thought maybe that's something I was doing also!

Nope.
She's real.

I laughed really awkwardly as she walked off (again) and hoped she wouldn't return with more random comments.

Not a school project doll.
Not a crazy lady who carries around a doll pretending it's real.

And that's my story about how my baby got mistaken as a doll and it seems I was mistaken as a high schooler and also a crazy lady!

The nerve of some people

Begin rant:

I was at Costco today and in front of me was a rather young looking mom with her 5 kids.
2 walking.
2 in the cart.
1 in a baby sling.

And up walks a seemingly sweet ol' grandma.
Then I hear her say, "Oh my!!! Are they all yours?!"
To which the young mom responds, "They sure are!"

And then I walk by and the little old lady says, "Oh dear...she's not hers also, is she?!" [referring to my sweet one I was pushing.]
I laugh awkwardly and tell her that she's all mine!

Then...the lady looks at me and says, "Well it seems you need to teach HER how that happens."

Me and that mom just looked at each other completely shocked.

....

WTF?!

She said it so condescendingly and with such a rude look on her face! It threw me off and so I didn't have time to think of a clever remark so all I could say was, "Umm...I think she knows how that happens." The other mom said, "Hmm..must have missed that section in nursing school!"

We just walked off and I asked the mom if she gets that a lot to which she said yes but that that lady was ruder than the average commenter.

I just couldn't believe it-that rude lady proclaimed that loudly and in front of those kiddos-she doesn't know their story but I can bet you that that mom loves each one of her kids and wouldn't wish one of them away.

And me? Good grief, I hate that she looked at me as though I'm the "normal" one with my one baby. Looking back I wish I would have said, "Are you kidding me?! I only wish I was so blessed to have so many kids!" That lady obviously had no idea of our struggle to have that one, beautiful baby.

Hello rude lady, kids are a blessing and just because you think one is enough doesn't mean that others who have more are crazy.

You're crazy.

Some people need to learn to keep their comments to theirselves.

End rant.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad