Well, here I am.
Currently 14.4 weeks pregnant with number 2.
Still in awe that we are here again so soon and still so thankful.
I realized that I announced and then sort of dropped off the face of the earth. I, like so many others, have every intention of blogging more often but then things get busy, or I worry my posts will be boring and well...then I don't blog and find myself months after my last post.
I'd promise that I will work on that, but to be honest...who the heck knows.
I did want to do a follow up from my previous "announcement" post though, to talk about my progesterone throughout this pregnancy in hopes that I am able to give someone out there who suffers with PCOS or crappy progesterone hope.
Because sometimes that hope is all that keeps us going when the going gets so hard.
My progesterone this time around has not been great, just like with my first. I had mentioned before that I really thought that since it was "easier" for us to conceive this time around that maybe my body would know what to do. Well, I'm grateful my body knew to ovulate (heck, possible only 2 times in our nearly 7 years of marriage...but I'll take it!) this time around, and so soon after the last time but one thing I've learned...progesterone and me don't jive. My body does not and may never be good at producing it's own progesterone.
I just remember being told so many times that with my numbers under 10, there was no way I ovulated and then of course I wouldn't test because, well...if a doctor tells you you didn't ovulate you trust them. But now, I see that the two times that I miraculously tested positive, my progesterone results following the BFP were a little over 6 and a little over 9. I think about if it had been a month that I was simply having blood work done I would have most likely been told that I had not ovulated and would have waited for my period to start...or in those cases, most likely miscarried. I don't want to think about if that was something that could have happened in the past...it's would hurt I think to think about it too long and too hard about possibly losing babies because I wasn't proactive or simply because I trusted my doctor...so I will not go there.
All I know now is that I have for sure ovulated twice and by the grace of God, am being monitored by the PPVI institute in Omaha.
My numbers so far have not left me feeling at ease by any means, but since I'm being monitored so closely and am on the PIO injections and oh so fun suppositories, I am able to let go and trust a lot more.
Here's my progesterone numbers so far:
4.5 weeks: 9.34
7 weeks: 18.53
9 weeks: 16.5
11 weeks: 15.8
13 weeks: 32.3
I'm not going to lie...the weeks where it dropped two times my heart sank...I was so worried that it was going down (and that it was so low!) but the nurses at PPVI reassured me that I was ok. I was SOOO thankful though when I got the call with my new results at 13 weeks...it went up and more than doubled! I definitely shed some tears of joy at that point.
I hope that others reading this see that with really crappy progesterone, as long as you are closely monitored, there is hope. I was telling a girlfriend who struggles with miscarriage (who I have working with the PPVI institute to monitor her now!!!!) that when we get our results back, if the HCG isn't doubling or if it's dropping, there's nothing we can do...but if our progesterone is crummy, we are able to do something. There is hope.
I just remember back to struggling and month after month getting back my progesterone results, comparing them to other bloggers or other charts online and just being devastated because it seemed so hopeless. My body seemed so broken.
I know now that's not the case.
I am still amazed that after hearing so many people tell me when I was pregnant with F that "oh you just wait and see, I hear that once you get pregnant after struggling, your body sorta knows how to work and you will be having babies after that with not problems!"
I always got a pit in my stomach hearing this because I didn't know. All I knew was that I had F and she could have very well been our one and only.
But somehow, it seems that my body did learn something from that time around. I'm by no means saying that every woman that struggles with PCOS and gets pregnant one time will have no issues getting pregnant again, but for me...the pregnancy with F definitely seemed to help.
Just not with my progesterone.
That's something I will always struggle with and I'm ok with that because I'm in such good hands with the PPVI.
Any other notes about the pregnancy?
-Well, it's been night and day from F. With her I was sick occasionally and with this one I was sick constantly throughout the first trimester and now I'll have random bouts of sickness. It could mean that its a different sex or it could mean that I'm just busier this time around with little miss.
-I have had two ultrasounds so far: one at 6 weeks where we saw the little apple seed and then the tiniest little flicker of a heartbeat. Simply amazed at something so tiny. Then I had another appt at 10 weeks and we were able to see little arms and legs and movement, which pretty much took my breath away.
-I heard the heartbeat at 9.2 weeks and that's a sound that is up there on my favorite sounds of all times.
-In about a week and a half we will find out who this little one is...some days I think boy some days I think girl. Either way we will be excited.
And that about sums it up...this post has turned out to be waaaay longer than I anticipated, I guess I really needed to get a lot out! I don't comment very often but pray daily for all you ladies-especially those still deep in the throws of IF.
Like I said, I wont promise that I will post more but I will at least say I will TRY and post more!
"Wherever you are, be all there." [J.Elliot]
Friday, March 14, 2014
Well, here I am.
Posted by Faith makes things possible at 9:05 AM