I'm so fragile with my emotions lately.
One minute I'm feeling great and having a blast with family...
The next minute I'm hearing that my brother and SIL are already FB official with their big news, and feeling oh so sad and down.
One minute I'm enjoying and savoring those delicious cupcakes and family dinners around the table...
The next minute I'm in tears because I feel so very alone in this IF journey when it comes to my family. (not talking about my husband here, he's been my rock and is amazing)
One minute I'm cracking up over the silly things my nephews say...
The next minute I'm fighting back tears because my MIL and SIL can't seem to stop taking about babies and mommy hood.
One minute I'm jumping for joy because my old doctor, who did my surgery a year and a half ago and is now retired thus making it hard to obtain old records, finally is mailing those records to me. The LAST piece of my packet to send to Omaha...
The next minute I feel like a bolder is on my chest and there is a pit in my stomach because I still haven't called my brother to congratulate him (I did respond to their text with the big brother picture though). I feel so hurt by their insensitivity and saddened that we are so far from making our own special announcement.
One minute I'm counting my blessings and cherishing these previous moments with loved ones...
The next I'm trying everything in my power to fight off the bitterness, sadness, and hurt that comes along with struggling with fertility.
It's so emotionally exhausting.
I feel like I'm tripping and falling and failing so much lately.
But, in my tears and pain, I still have my faith in Him and His will for my life. As hard as that can be, i have to because I can only imagine the kind of person I would be without it.
"Nobody trips over mountains. It is the small pebble that causes you to stumble. Pass all the pebbles in your path and you will find you have crossed the mountain." [Author Unknown]
Wednesday, March 7, 2012
Tripping over pebbles
Posted by Faith makes things possible at 10:29 PM
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14 comments:
I am so sorry that you're going through this. Please know that you're not alone in this journey!!!
Sending you lots of love and prayers!
I wish our timing this week had been different, and I could have given you a huge hug in person. The quote you included about the small pebbles is so perfect. Keep on crossing that mountain. We're right there with you.
Big hug being sent your way. I know how those days can be. It's hard to stuff your emotions down your throat while your family giddily discusses all things baby right in front of your face.
Maybe you could write your brother a letter and explain that you are happy for him, but also explain your situation and feelings?
I am so sorry for all you are going through. I have been there and it is so rough. I truly understand. All my married siblings had children before me and we were the second ones married. It doesn't take much to pass us since we went 9 years without children. I pray you don't have to wait that long!
My family never understood how topics of conversations could hurt my feelings. I pray that you have the courage to write your family a letter and explain your heart!
I'm sorry you're having a rough week. I know these ups and downs so well. I think we all have those swings from one extreme to another- so know you are not alone! We get it. I second writing your brother a letter. Maybe after you write everything down you'll feel better, even if you don't send it. Big hug!
It's the roller coaster none of us lined up to get on. I'm so sorry that it is all so hard right now. Sending many prayers your way.
Rebecca's absolutely right. Hold onto that faith...in the end it's all that can get you through. I have great hope for you, my beautiful friend!!
I hate the ups and downs! Praying for you!
The ups and downs of IF... I am so sorry you're experiencing so much of them lately. Praying hard for you!!
praying!!! so sorry. I wish I could fix it all :(
Stinkin' rollercoaster! I'm with ya girl. Not sure what I can say to make it better, but you're not alone.
You may be tripping and falling a lot, but you are also getting up and trying again just as often. Your ability to find the joy around you is inspiring to me.
love that quote. jb is right- you are not alone! praying for you.
I'm so sorry I'm late to reply, but you're experiencing the worst part of IF. I wish and will pray that your family is more sensitive to you. I agree with the writing a letter or email to your brother and maybe your parents. That way they can nip baby stuff in the bud around you.
You're in my thoughts and prayers. I know God has something AMAZING in store for you!
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