Wednesday, April 10, 2013

The three times I cried today.

1) Pulling up to the doctor's office in anticipation of F's 2 month appointment with shots.
2) When the doctor talked about all of her milestones and about how she will start going longer in between her night time feedings.
3) When she received her shots.

To be honest, I laughed-although awkwardly through my tears-after each time. I know I'm being way emotional.

I know this.

It's just that there's the fact that my little one is already 2 months old and I simply cannot believe it (I don't care if it sounds cliche either!!!). How can it be that with the 4.5 years waiting for her, each month dragged on by and yet here we pregnancy gone and over with and my sweet newborn now 2 months?

That's one of the main things that had me in tears, in front of the doctor today, when he was discussing all her milestones and about how she's sleeping longer through the night,'s going by too fast and I still feel like we just got our BFP not that long ago.

So yes, tears because I realize just how quickly things move along...

...and tears of course seeing her going from our bright eyed smiling beauty to waaaaailing and then moving to "tears streaming with her mouth wide open but no sound coming out" crying because of the shots!

Thankfully the nurse was sweet and I had my dh there.

I was such an emotional mess today.

Things are just going by so quickly.

I've waited so long for this that I hope that through the crazy, stressful and at times down right tough moments I don't forget:
where we've come from...the waiting...the hundreds of sleepless/tearful nights of pain wondering when I would be a mom...what it felt like to feel her kick/move from within...mostly, that I don't forget every single thing that had to happen, that had to come together at the most perfect moment to create that miracle.

That sweet miracle I call my daughter (my daughter!! saying this still makes me heart leap with joy) that's sleeping a few feet away in her bassinet....

Dear Lord,
I thank you for the miracle of life. I thank you for our daughter. Some days are absolutely perfect and as I always envisioned/hoped for and other days are hard, and I feel so overwhelmed and under qualified, but through it all I am beyond grateful that you've entrusted my husband and i with her. Help us to always cherish these moments with her.


allyouwhohope said...

F is so beautiful! And I was just thinking this same thing about my almost-four-month-old.. that moment when you realize you shouldn't be referring to her as a newborn anymore. I'm way past that ;)

sayin' i love you said...

I think it´s normal to feel this way. Whenever this happens to me (which isn´t that often anymore) I try to think about how proud I feel that they are acomplishing so much and are turning into big kids and how privileged I am to be witnessing this and I start feeling really happy :D

Megan said...

There are days when I look at my sweet 3 month old and think seriously where did time go. Lucky you having your hubby there for the shots, I had to brave it alone!

Sarah said...

Thanks for writing this. I too feel it's going by way too fast, and like I don't want to miss a thing when it seems some moms are just glad their babies have moved on to the next stage. I was starting to think I was a little unstable haha. (N is 7 months. Yes. 7.).

Faith makes things possible said...

AYWH-four months already?!! How big is she by the way...F was 10 pounds 6 ounces at her appointment!

Hebrews 11:1 said...

Yup, I can totally relate!! I have cried at all those things before!!

allyouwhohope said...

She's 12 lbs. That may not sound like a lot to some, but she is a chunk all of a sudden! :)