My boobies hurt.

I am so confused with my body right now. I have Goo.gled SOO much it's ridiculous and honestly, you can find whatever you want to hear on there...

Here's what's throwing me off: my "girls" are sore. The ni.pples are and so are the outer parts. I have NEVER had this before. But then again, I was never normal before my surgery and so this may be my new "normal."

The confusing thing is that I am only 7 DPO. I have read two things: one, you could definitely be pregnant and two, this happens right before AF shows up.

I'm over analyzing this way too much, this I know for certain! So basically, I am curious about how many of you (either if you are/have been pregnant OR if you have ever had a period, yeah...that pretty much covers everyone here!) have had sore breasts around this time of your cycle.

I wasn't going to say anything because I felt that if I said something about the idea of the possibility of maybe (yeah, still not being very straight foward, am I?) just maybe this being a pregnancy sign, I would jinx myself or something silly. I am just so excited/anxious for progress, whether it be being pregnant (which is SO hard to even begin to imagine because it's been so long of trying) or that AF is coming and that my hormones are actually working right. Progress both ways. Obviously one of the two I prefer over the other but I learned a looooong time ago that it's not what I want! ;)

Please be upfront and let me know about your experience with sore boobs about a week after ovulation...

Thanks ahead of time.

Catching up and "10 Surprising Things About Me!"

It's been awhile since I've caught up...on reading and posting. I have been rather busy with 1)trying to find a job 2)dealing with all the stresses that come with looking for/buying a home 3)Etc...

-On the job front...there's no news yet. Not bummed but not excited about this either.

-On the house front...we put in an offer last week and it was accepted (shockingly! You see, it was about $10k less than asking, with them paying closing, leaving appliances etc...). We had the inspection today (it passed with flying colors!) and we are waiting on numerous other things. If all goes well we will close at the end of this month. We absolutely love this house. It's shocking that we found one in such good shape in our price range. It was a 1 owner home built in '83 and they renovated the whole inside from '00-'09. Pretty house that we are hoping to call home sooner than later! :)

-On the etc front...nothing new on the fertility front really. Just that it's been hard to separate the "omg...this seems new, this could totally be because I ovulated and we are pregnant! (ie: sore boobies, mood swings, etc..)" from the "huh, well this seems to be what "normal" people experience a week before their periods, oh joy...my period is coming." You see, since I've never been normal, it's near impossible for me to read into things about what's going on with my body because, well, I don't really have anything to compare it to!

Ok, M at Joy Beyond the Cross tagged me for the "10 surprising things about me..." thing and I decided, why the heck not?! ;) So here goes, and forgive me if there are things in here that you already know:

TEN SURPRISING THINGS ABOUT ME:

1) I grew up with my grandparents. I have lived with them since right before 2nd grade. Love them and can't even begin to imagine where my life would be now if it wasn't for them.

2) I am super sensitive/emotional. Movies make me cry. Commercials make me cry. Mean people can (sometimes) make me cry. A sweet message can make me cry...You get the picture!

3) I love love. Truly, I am a sap for a good love story, a beautiful wedding, family love, etc...

4) I shattered my jaw when I was 13. I was sitting criss cross in the back of a bus and when it hit some dips, up I went and when I came down my jaw slammed the seat. It shattered in two places and cracked in another. I had my mouth wired shut for quite a few weeks.

5) I love to talk. I grew up always getting in trouble for talking too much. You can imagine how hard it was to have my mouth wired shut for all that time then! ;)

6) I worry WAY too much about what others think. I think that it stems from my whole not wanting to hurt anyone or upset them. Along with the whole caring way too much about what others are thinking, I over analyze things way more than the average person. I really wish I could be a bit more care free but I haven't mastered that just yet.

7) The first 7 years of my life were not great. In fact, I still can't believe that they were really part of my life and not simply from a horrible movie or documentary. Those first years have caused me to have difficulty in trusting people (God bless my DH for sticking with me through some of my low "testing" moments). And really, I think that also is why I worry about others too much...

8)I am a salt/spice tooth through and through. I'll take a bowl of chips and salsa over ice cream ANY day. By the way, one of my favorite hot sauces aside from Chalula is the Peppered Garlic Tabasco...SOOO good.

9) My favorite colors are yellow and pink. My DH jokes that he's married to a 13 year old girl. I tell him, "that doesn't make me look bad...just you!" ;)

10) I am a lefty.

Okay, I know that I am suppose to tag 5 people...but I am not sure who has already participated because I'm behind on reading blogs, so I am just going to leave it up to you guys, if you want to participate..go for it!!

And that's all for now folks!

"If you only had faith you would receive in a single request what it takes you years to obtain. So believe that I am listening to you and that I always answer-in a way that you may not recognize to be the fulfillment of your prayer." (Taken from a book I love: HE AND I)

The prayers are working! ;)

I don't believe in coincidences...I believe that everything happens in God's timing and for His purpose. Sew had a post about this the other day actually and I had never heard of "God-incidence" but that pretty much describes what I feel to a tea! So in a nut-shell, I read about this "Spiritual Bouquet" and then I kid you not, an hour or so later...


I started seeing some good peak type mucus...and even more today!! YAY!! I was so worried because I had seen NOTHING and that feeling was too familiar because pre-surgery, I had never seen anything and I was worried that things hadn't changed. But like I said, I almost jumped for joy upon seeing it and then instantly thought, "oh my goodness...the spiritual bouquet is already showering blessings for people...for ME!"

How amazing.

Also, we went and put an offer in on a house and our Realtor said they are working with the seller but as of now, it's looking a kinda promising. I say kinda because I do not want to get my hopes up but I'm rather excited.

So exciting.

The power of prayer is truly amazing! I am a firm believer in the power of prayer and the miracles and blessings that come from it. This is a beautiful example of that!

Thank you ladies so much! I am still in awe that y'all took the time to do this. It means so much to me!

THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU and THANK YOU! :)

"Silent gratitude isn't much use to anyone." (G.B. Stern )

Tears

I quickly skimmed my blog list moments ago, and I saw "spiritual bouquet" listed on several blog titles. I opened them and read them.

I was literally brought to tears.

So beautiful and so sweet!

THANK YOU TO ALL THAT WERE A PART OF THIS BEAUTIFUL GIFT.

CD10

It is CD10 and so far I have had 6 days of M-VL spotting and the rest have been dry. I am really praying for some EWCM soon! I was just so excited to see it about 1.5-2 weeks after surgery that I am hopeful it will come back around.

Fingers crossed and prayers being offered up like a crazy woman.

That is all for now.

I learn something new everyday.

I was at a resale shop digging through some treasures and on the wall I found this:




I learn something new everyday! ;)

Blessing and how my brain works sometimes.

My DH found out yesterday, during his in service, that state legislative just passed a bill that will start in January 2011...it allows active duty police officers to pursue their degrees and the state will pay for them to get it! Of course their are some stipulations but how exciting! He's always wanted to get his degree, but the door for that hasn't been opened to us until now. Another amazing thing about it is that since he is also a veteran, he will rate his GI bill...bringing in extra money each month he is in school!

Of course, the tracks in my brain (does that even make sense?!) started going and I thought that if he started next Fall, by then surely [fingerscrossedprayersofferedpleasedearGodifitbeyourwil] we will have a baby or at least pregnant and then he'll be bringing in that extra money around that time. What a blessing this could be.

I've found that this is how my brain works on a lot of stuff. I find out something, let's say a friend's wedding, and I think, "well, if that it's a year, and we get pregnant in the next few months...well, I could be about to either a)pop or 2)have a little one nestled in my arms."

Also, let's say, someone talks about taking a trip, whether it be a road trip or a plane trip I instantly think, "well, if we get pregnant now, then I'll be about to pop and there's no way I could travel then!"

Or, last December when we actually found some pretty looking mature follicles (only an IF would say this, I'd imagine!) and we took the honker of a HCG shot, I instantly thought, "if we do get pregnant, then the baby would around the time GP passed, it would be as if his soul left and another soul is entering the world..."

And lastly, I think about if we do indeed get pregnant in the next couple a months, it would be around the time GP passed, and thus sparking the same thought as the one mentioned above.

Call me crazy.

Blame it on my wild imagination.

I know I play the "what if" game a lot, it's just hard not to.

Part of it's exciting to think about because I know that when it happens, it's going to be truly beautiful and the timing will be something beyond my wildest dreams.

Another part of it's exhausting. I don't want to always think, "what if" but some how it just happens...without me even trying to think about it.

I guess all in all I blame it on (not really blame, but you get the idea) the fact that I still believe in my heart of hearts that this desire to conceive and raise children is from God and therefore, these thoughts are going to happen because that desire is there.

I have prayed that God take the desire if it's not in His will, but like I've mentioned numerous times before, He always seems to lead us in a direction where the path ultimately could lead to conception.

So, I guess I'll take my crazy thoughts of "what if's" and go with it.

I'm going to keep my head held high.

I'm going to keep on trusting.

Oh, what an adventure this so called life has been...

Anyone who has never made a mistake has never tried anything new. (Albert Einstein)