A month of gratitude: day 30

I can't believe I actually did this...a post a day for an entire month! To be honest, I didn't think I would be able to finish but I'm so happy I did. I already can't wait to look back and see what I was thankful for each day in Nov '12!!!

As for what I'm thankful for today, it would be my nieces and nephews.

I have 12 total.
2 on my side of the family.
10 on dh's side.
3 sweet nieces.
9 crazy nephews.
The oldest is 14.
The youngest is just over a month.
2 are our godsons.
They are all amazing.

Sure there were times when the announcement that they'd be arriving in 9 months was sometimes brought with bitterness and sadness.

But one things for sure, seeing them for the first time, spending time with them and be called Aunt J is such a blessings.

These precious ones helped to comfort me when IF became unbearable at times.

I never knew I could love little ones the way I love my nieces and nephews.

I can't even begin to imagine the love I'll have for my own sweet daughter, but if the love for my nieces and nephews is any indicator I know it's going to be a love like I never knew was possible.

A month of gratitude: day 29

Thanks for putting up with my venting in my last post...glad y'all don't think I'm crazy!

And now, what I'm thankful for!

I'm beyond thankful for my talented SIL and the beautiful maternity/family photos she took.

Here's just a few sneak peeks...

She's sending them to me a few at at time, after editing, and I get so excited every time there's a new email from her! I'm can't wait to make our Christmas cards this year-I'm SO excited!!!

Why do I get so frustrated?!?!

I promise I'll update tonight with my month of gratitude, but I just had to vent first....

I have this friend, who I'm not really that close to anymore but because of FB we are obviously caught up on each others' lives.

Her story, they very sadly and unfortunately had 2 miscarriages when they were married 12 years ago. After suffering with infertility for 4 years, they sought help with Dr. H at the PPVI and by the grace of God, the surgery to get rid of her endo was a success and they had their first baby boy 8 years ago!

Then, 2 years after that they had their next son (I think she took progesterone).

Then 2 years later they had their next son-not sure if meds were involved here.

Then, just as they had before (their ideal 2 years apart), they had their 4th son.

He's only 1.5 and even though they've successfully gotten pregnant when "planned" she will still talk openly in FB about her infertility. Like today, this:

I specifically remember when her littlest one turned 1 in June that she posted for prayers for her in regards to her IF because they were desperately starting to try for #5 again.

That was 5 months ago people!

I know that the pains of IF will linger long after babies are (God willing) in our arms, but I get frustrated seeing this because there are quite a few people that I know who have struggled for years (hello we were one of them!!!) that are friends with her on FB and seeing statuses like this stings.

One of our mutual friends actually, who I am really close with, has told me that she's told her that since they have "planned" out the timing of their 4 sons, to talk about still suffering with IF is probably not appropriate especially since there are so many still suffering.

Ugh-it's just so hard to look past this especially because I know she's aware of at least three couples who are currently battling the cross of IF.

Okay, okay...now that I've vented I hope y'all don't think I'm a horrible person for getting so bothered by this, but she's done this in the past, while we were still TTC, and it hurt then and now it just bothers me.

I need to get over it...hoping now that I've vented and typed it out I can stop being annoyed.

Vent over.


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

A month of gratitude: day 28

I finally got around to decorating the tree and putting out more Christmas decorations today...and our home is feeling especially cozy now!

As I was going through the ornaments, I found one I bought last year.

Hope. I remember last year, as I have done for all the years before, I was clinging to hope...hope that maybe this next year would be our year.

Little did I know only 4 months in to the new year that hope would turn into celebration!

Hope.

Cling to it.
You never know what tomorrow will bring.

And then, as I was going through the other decorations, I found a message I had written on one of the candle boxes, before packing it away.



What a beautiful reminder my past self was leaving for my current self.

Cherishing every moment.

So, tonight I'm thankful for little reminders that were packed away from last Christmas.

Reminders to hope.
Reminders to slow down and cherish every moment.

A month of gratitude: day 27

Today I am SO SO SO very thankful that we got the call from my Gm that my cousin is stateside!!!!!!

He's been in Afghanistan for the last year (he's a combat medic) and been through and seen so much.

He's lost comrades.
He's seen innocent lives lost before his eyes.
He was shot at and by the grace of God, only received minor injuries.
He's received a Purple Heart for his injuries.

In the midst of all that, our family has prayed fervently that he would be protected and brought home safely.

And as of yesterday he landed in the good ol' U.S of A!!!!!!!

Praise The Lord!!!

Thank you Lord for protecting my cousin and thank you Lord for all those who continue to serve.

A month of gratitude: day 26

Y'ALL!!!!
That's right...today I'm thankful for y'all-all the wonderful people I've "met" in the blogging community!

I don't know how many times I've felt completely alone in our IF journey with my feelings, thoughts and symptoms.

Then, I discovered this amazing community and realized that I wasn't alone.

And what an incredible feeling to know you're not alone, especially while carrying the very painful cross of IF.

Sure, I may not be the best at commenting (ill work on that I promise!), the most eloquent with words and my pictures are 99.9% from my iPhone but those things don't matter. One things for sure, I love this community and the support that goes along with it.

And as amazing as my dh has been throughout all our years of struggle, there's something about knowing that another woman gets the emotional turmoil and pain that comes along with another baby shower, or another pregnancy announcement or the feeling that you are failing as a woman.

This community has been a life saver more times than not.

So, thank y'all!!!!


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

A month of gratitude: day 25

Today I'm thankful that we can start thinking about Christmas! :)

The decorating has begun...