This past week has been tough. Our once great sleeper has had some rough nights. Before she was going down around 8 and sleeping until 4 or 5, nursing and then back to sleep until 8.
But we are going on a week of some pretty tough nights.
Maybe it's a growth spurt...
Maybe it's the 3-4 month sleep regression...
Maybe it's teething...
Maybe she's needing to be weened from her swaddle...
Either way, last night was.the.worst.
Up every hour (or less!) needing comforting to settle.
Which means no sleep for me (she still sleeps in a bassinet in our room).
Around 3:00 I went to change her and nurse her and as I go to pull off her swaddle, I noticed the onesie my dh had put her in:
And it was at that moment, the moment of sheer exhaustion from this not really sleeping for nearly a week, the moment where my eyes burned from not being shut long enough to be refreshed, the moment where I was on the brink of tears desperately wishing my dh didn't work at night, that I saw the words, "I was so worth the wait!"
And it was then that my eyes filled with tears of joy instead of tears of exhaustion.
My heart swelled with joy looking at this precious miracle of ours.
Yes, somedays are hard.
Some nights are hard.
Somedays I feel like a rock star of a wife and mom.
Somedays I feel like a disaster and feel completely lost.
Somedays motherhood seems to come easily.
Somedays I struggle.
But one thing's for sure, I count my blessings in those good days and in those not so good days and look at her sweet little face and think, "yes my little one, you were so worth the wait!"
Im so glad my dh decided to put her in that onesie (first time she's worn it actually!!) because in the midst of this chaotic week, it helped me to take a deep breath, offer up a prayer and count my blessings.
It most certainly helped me to put things into perceptive.