Please don't tell me to just relax!

Please...
Don't tell me to relax.
Because that's what helped you.

It's been over 4 years.

And I have PCOS (and God only knows what else) and it's simply not that easy...

[CanyoutellimgettingjustaWEEbitannoyedwithbeingtoldtorelax].

I think I need a vacation.

And maybe some new ovaries...

Red heads have more fun

That's how that saying goes, right? ;)

Let's just say after being in such a funk this last week I decided I needed a change. And I wanted to actually follow through with doing something I've always wanted to do...

Go red!

Here's the before and the after!

So now I'm a red head and I'm still unsure of what I think about that. Oh well, it's just hair! The stylist also cut off 4 inches of dead ends...which I anticipated seeing as i haven't had a hair cut in forever!!

Now instead of dwelling on IF and getting overwhelmed thinking about this new journey, up ahead with Doctor H, I'm freaking out about my hair...eek, red hair!!

"When in doubt wear red." (Bill Blass)

Left out.

I know that I am not the only person struggling with IF...but these last few days I sure have felt like it.

It seems all my "in real life" friends have lapped me more than once and that so many of my blogger friends have lapped me also...

-insert the sad playing music here...

Maybe it's the fact that it's been over 4 years since we've been seeing doctors and it will be 5 years this June that we have been open to life.

Don't get me wrong, I'm so hopeful and so excited to begin working with Doctor H, it's just that emotionally I've been feeling a bit overwhelmed...

Seeing all those wonderful baby posts on FB...

Hearing about pregnancy announcements...

Realizing that our 5 year anniversary is already this summer and thinking, "oh my, where has the time gone.."

Sitting at home, alone at night, while my husband works and realizing that our not so big 1400 square foot home feels rather large...

I've just been feeling so.very.left.out.

My heart hurts and aches for something I've never even known.

The hope is still there-and in full swing-but these middle moments (getting medical records together and finishing up charting) have proven rather difficult on this usually "hope and excitement out the wazoo" lady.

Praying that I'm able to get out of this funk sooner than later and that I'm able to enjoy and cherish the beautiful blessings that are here and now...

"Find a place inside where there's joy, and the joy will burn out the pain." (Joseph Campbell)

If only it were that simple

I saw this picture on pint.erest and laughed.

Then I rolled my eyes.

If only it were that simple...

My day in pictures: [Marchforlife]

And my favorite sign:


:)

"A person's a person no matter how small."

The sh*t they say...

Okay, so the title probably comes across as a bit harsh and maybe y'all are thinking, "omg...has FMTP officially lost it?!" but don't worry, I write this post in good spirits!

I don't know if y'all have seen the videos popping up ALL over FB but there's videos for most every group of people (and I'm not condoning them all or anything like that) and the "sh*t they say." For example what guys say, what girls say, etc...

Well, I was laughing with my dh that some IFer needs to come up with a video that says, "The Sh*it non-IFers say to ifers!"

Because I know we've heard it all!! My list would start with (but totally not limited to just) this:

"Just relax! Really, we thought after the first month of trying that we might have troubled too, but them we relaxed! It works!"

"I have like a million friends who have adopted and then got pregnant...you should so adopt! It works!"

"Dog.gy style! Really...it works!!"

"Oh, it's so nice y'all are waiting, you'll understand once y'all actually have kids" (This was said after speaking about our 4 year journey)

-"Y'all are young. Don't worry!" (once again said after talking about years of struggle)

-"Go on a trip...that's when our precious ones were conceived! It really works!"

Aaaaand the list could go on but that's where I would start if I made a video! ;)

What about yall? What crazy advice y'all heard?




- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

So much peace.

I don't know how to explain it, but for some reason this past week I have felt so.much.peace in regards to our next steps in our TTC adventure.

Peace.

Oh sweet, sweet peace.

It's amazing. I haven't felt that huge rock weighing down on my chest or the lump in the back of my throat when I hear of another pregnancy.

It's been so wonderful to feel this peace and hope. I am very aware that these feelings are not forever ones and because of this I CHERISH these moments.

I cling to them.

Cherishing and clinging-that about sums up what I'm doing now.

An update in regards to my charting: I'm getting closer to finishing the mandatory 2 months to send to Doctor H and then I will fill out a check (hello $100 to just get started) and mail those off to Omaha.

Oh the excitement.

A new adventure is upon us and even though we have been seeing doctors for a little over 4 years now, it feels like a fresh new start...perfectly coinciding with the start of the new year.

2012 bring it! :)


(Photo from Pin.terest)