Picture post (with some words because, well...it's me we're talking about!)

Today I taught myself how to fish braid my hair (go yo.utube!).




I hung my little humming bird feeder (from my Gm!) outside my kitchen window. I can't wait to see a hummingbird!




This little pill causes an awful lot of hot flashes for this lady...




Lastly, since I was feeling not so great tonight (hello CD14 on clomid and no sign of good cm in site :-/) I decided to paint my toes a fun color. And since I don't want a close up (as I'm sure you don't either!) of my toes, the picture is of the bottle.

Praying for you girls tonight and appreciating all the comments and prayers from each and every one of y'all (and the new commenters!).

"Never give up on something you can't go a day without thinking about..."

I want to...

...join the club.

You know, that club where all these amazing blogger women are getting pregnant?

Yeah, I want to join that club.

There.
I said it.

The end.


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We said goodbye to our dog today (and prayer buddy reveal)

Yes, that's right. The dog we got back in October right after we moved into our house is no longer living with us.

He's not dead, let me start by saying that so y'all don't have to worry.

The thing is, he's a full blood lab.

And he's crazy.

He's smart.

But crazy.

The big things are the high energy and the separation anxiety.

High energy + separation anxiety = the siding on our house eaten off, chairs destroyed, hundreds of holes dug in the yard, eating the protection tubing and wiring off our ac unit-causing it to break...

Yeah, the last incident was with the ac unit and that was the final straw for my dh.

The thing is, he's inside most the time, and we go on walks and play fetch outside BUT we can't be with him all the time and that's when stuff starts to happen.

He needs to be with someone who has a dog already or lots of kids that will play with him constantly.

My dh too him to the shelter this morning and the lady told him it sounded like separation anxiety and that someone with dogs already would work wonders for thus little pup.

So yeah...even though I wasn't head over heals in love with this dog (like some people are with their dogs) and I'm going to enjoy gardening and planting flowers in the back yard and you know, I'm going enjoy not having our things destroyed...I'm missing him and a little sad to see him go.

But ultimately it was best for us and him.

Ok, ok...on to a more positive note, PRAYER BUDDIES!!!

I had the privilege of praying for Donna at What if God Says No! I thought about and prayed for her each and every day this Lent. My dh and I offered up numerous rosaries for her intentions and prayed before our Lord in the Blessed Sacrament for her during our Monday night holy hour.

Donna, I know I already emailed you and told you most this but just know you will most definitely be in my prayers even beyond Lent!


"Easter spells out beauty, the rare beauty of new life."(S.D Gordon)

Hello fellow PCOS gals...

I have some questions!

I've been really trying to work on my diet in the last few weeks by:
-cutting back on carbs (I could eat my weight in bread in a heart beat)
-more veggies/fruit
-I don't skip breakfast anymore...I usually eat 3-4 egg whites with a little cheese and an apple.

And also last week I started working out again. I feel a million percent better...it had been too long!

I'm also working on remembering to take my vitamins.

Oh yeah, and no more sodas/coffee...it's now replaced with oodles of water which means oodles of bathroom breaks, but a trade I happily take.

I've been doing this because like I mentioned before, I'm starting medicine up this cycle again and I realized I haven't eaten healthy/worked out at all since way before my surgery in August.

And even though we've been TTC for over 3 years now, I'm trying to look at it that my body is completely different since my surgery (hello regular periods!!) and because of this I want to make my body the healthiest I can because in my mind I really feel it will help my body respond to meds better.

Ok, ok...now onto my questions for my fellow PCOSers:

1) if you are or have been pregnant what type of meds were you taking and did you have surgery of any kinds?

2) what kind of foods do you eat or try to avoid because of the Pcos?

3) did femera work our better for you than clomid (if you took it)?

4) do you see a lot of good fertile cm each month or is it limited?

5) anything else you want to share with me? :)

6) would you say a prayer for me? I feel like I've come a long way since we first started and I want to continue to make progress (um, you know ANNOUNCE I'm pregnant!;)).

Thanks in advanced girls! I'm starting my clomid up tomorrow and am praying that my body response properly! I'm a ball of nerves but I still feeling better than before because this month I've been working on becoming healthier mind/body/soul.

I trust.
I hope.
I believe.


"Self-confidence is the first requisite to great undertakings." (Samuel Johnson)

CD1

Yes it is CD1.

And the cramps are pretty crappy.

My emotions are wacky.

Everything makes me cry.

And my husband left for retreat today and I miss him so much.

BUT.

I'm hopeful for this cycle with starting the meds back up.

And even though I miss my dh, especially since the three nights he's off during the week (Sun-Tue) he'll be on retreat instead of with me, I couldn't imagine a more perfect way to start out this cycle...my amazing dh growing closer to Jesus.

Jesus, we trust in you.

The groom wins

"The groom wins!"

This is what I half-hear because I was in a deep sleep when my dear husband decides I needed to know this bright and early yesterday morning.

I ask him what the heck he's talking about and him in his half awake/half asleep state continues to say, "Groom wins...groom wins!"

Confused now, more than before, I ask him to please explain what this means because I was lost.

He states something like this, "Groom wins...you know because groom wins. I'm trying to be sweet. Because groom wins."

I tell him, "ok, groom wins but what and why does the groom win?! Now I'm even more lost and kinda curious because he was being rather persistent...

He responds, "Maybe we played paper rock scissors and the groom won!"

I told him he was probably dreaming.

He leans over and kisses me and informs me that, "Groom wins and the groom wins you know... se.x!"

I laugh and can only imagine what my dh was dreaming about!!

Needless to say, it was a good morning! ;)

After he woke up later (for good) I laughed and told him all that he said and he laughed only remembering some of his crazy conversation but all of the "prize" he won!

He of course doesn't remember his dream but man oh man have we been laughing about it!!

I love that crazy man and am beyond thankful God put him in my life!

There's never a dull moment.

Even in the wee hours of the morning before anyone else has woken up for the day.

"A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person."(Mignon McLaughlin)



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New stuff

New hair (pardon the cheesy thumbs up):

New workout shoes:



To replace these old ones (barf, I know):



And since there weren't any cute/comfy pink shoes (yeah, I'm a 13 year old girl)...I got these:



Today I started my workout regiment at a gym. I've been far too lazy for far too long, and with a new cycle with meds starting up, I've been trying to better myself:
Spiritually: Novenas, prayers and rosaries!
Mentally: I'm letting myself be hopeful and excited about the possibilities.
Emotionally: I'm not letting my emotions of fear and anxiety take over!
Physically: As a girl with PCOS, it's very sad that I don't take my weight/health more serious. My doctor use to tell me, "Every little bit of weight counts!" And sadly, it's the first time I'm taking it seriously since my surgery in August. But, better late than never! My goal, to lose 15 pounds.

All in all I'm feeling good but I do know that the struggle of IF is a constant roller coaster and I know these great feelings could change tomorrow, heck they could change in a minute but one thing I know...

I'm not giving up.

"Never, never, never give up!"
(Winston Churchill)

6.7

Yeah, that was my progesterone this month.

All natural.

No meds.

And I'd be lying if I said I wasn't a wee bit disappointed.

Because I was.

But it's all good because I'm starting clomid this month (again) full of hope.

And it doesn't hurt that my dh agreed that a day at the salon to get my hair done was just what I needed! :)

Maybe I'll post a picture of the new dew later...especially seeing as I don't cut or trim my hair but once every 6-12 months.

Yeah, I'm that bad.

But today it was definitely needed because my progesterone was crap.

And my hair was looking like crap too...hello split ends off of split ends off of split ends...

Oh the anticipation!

I'm sure with my last post, you girls are simply dying of anticipation to figure out what the heck I chose to read! ;)

Well, here's a break down:

With option #1, even though I do watch Jersey Shore-please don't judge or think less of me (I'm literally in awe that these people are real)-I would never ever ever read a book about it! Never ever.

With option #2, even though I love love and love stories...the Montana Glory just didn't seem like something I would ever read! Never ever.

With option #3, well I was an English major in college and so math and engineering are not really a favorite subject of mine!

With option #4, even though the price was amazing, I decided I didn't need Kim C. teaching me about sexual intelligence. Gross.

With option #5, umm...HECK YES it's the one I got! Aaaand it was the last one. Go me.

With option #6, no...just no.

And finally, with option #7, well We grilled up two big delicious steaks last night for dinner. Mmm.

So that's that, I'm a reality show watchin'-prolifer-meat eatin' kinda gal! ;)

Oh yes, and I had my blood drawn Friday so tomorrow I'll hear about how low, grrr, my progesterone. That's more in lines with the meaning of the title of this blog post.

I can do this, I am ready to start back up the meds and fully trust God.

My goal is to not use doctor goo.gle, but trust. Even though since last week my bo.obs (I seem to talk about them a lot, sorry!) have slowly started to hurt a little more and more each day, I'm not goo.gling. No sir.

Speaking of boo.bs, you know because why not, ;) I started developing early and in 6th grade they appeared.

I of course was devastated because I grew up with my two brothers and THEY didn't have bo.obs so I certainly didn't want them. I even vowed that I wouldn't get them (oh the grand mind of a 5th grader) and wouldn't wear a "stupid" bra, my aunt still laughs about this...I was very serious you know.

Well then one fateful night when I was in 6th grade my brothers and I were all dressed and ready for bed (think big t-shirts given to us by Gp) and watching some tv.

I was probably talking too much and not sitting still, because I was making a bridge (both hands and feet touching the ground with my little booty in the air) with my body in front of the tv.

Then it happened.

One of my brothers, who because of my amazing body bridge, could see straight down my shirt and announced:

"OH my goodness, J has BOO.BIES!!!!"

I instantly broke into tears and ran down to seek comfort from my Gm.

She did comfort me and then promptly lectured both my brothers about not talking inappropriately.

You see, I was mad because I vowed NOT to get them.

God's sense of humor, a few years later I had to buy a specialty running bra for double d's.

Oh boo.bs.

Okay, I'm done! ;)

For now.

"An intense anticipation itself transforms possibility into reality; our desires being often but precursors of the things which we are capable of performing."(Samuel Smiles)

Guess which one I chose

I need to post...

...So that creepy picture of that finger isn't RIGHT there when I check my blog. You think that one is gross?! That was the least grossest one I could find-think fingers actually hanging off and lots and lots of blood!

Ok, don't think about it because it's disgusting and gross and I'm moving on from my little (successful) April Fools joke! ;)

Here's a quick update:
-I may have allegedly ovulated and I'm finding it's always around day 16 or so. Guess I'll find out when I go in for blood work this Friday. Quick question, since I'm at a secular doctor and he doesn't do charting (creighton), and goes off the average women's cycle, if I think I'm allegedly ovulating a bit later and they do the blood draw on CD22 to check progesterone, how different will the results be? I guess I need to explain my possible later ovulation with him...

-My sweet new nephew is doing amazing! His breathing problem has completely cleared up and yesterday they moved him out of NICU and out from under the jaundice lights and so if he can stay stable for 24 hours he's a free man!

-The weather is starting to get warmer and although I love my new house, one thing I'll miss about apartment living is laying out by the pool. But that's about it, well that and being able to call maintenance when there's a problem! The wind, however, is crazy! And not just walk outside and your skirt flows all fun-like...no it's walk outside, panic that your skirt is going to fly over your head as you're holding down both sides with your hands all the while your hair is flipping in your face like a crazy person...yeah, so I won't be wearing a skirt again while this crazy wind is here!!

-Because of the first thing I mentioned, my mind has started raising..."oh, that would be great to get pregnant right before starting meds back up...it'll almost be like a surprise pregnancy!"...."if we got pregnant now, then the baby would be due..." and so forth! I try to shake those thoughts because I trust in His timing. That and it gets too exhausting thinking of all the "what-if's!"

-It's amazing how having another person, a stranger really, to pray for helps with selflessness. When I'm feeling particularly overwhelmed or whatnot, praying for this special lady and offering up my sufferings for her really helps me think of others and not dwell so much on me.

-The Texas Rangers are doing awesome!! Dh and I might be going to the game tonight with another couple so that's quite exciting for a Monday!

-I know I've mentioned this before but I really hate that my Dh is gone, working 4 night out of the week! It really does make me cherish those nights I do get with him though...

Ok...that's all for now! I like how I can list things out and it doesn't matter that they don't all go together because well...it's just a list of random updates...

"One of the beautiful things about baseball is that every once in a while you come into a situation where you want to, and where you have to, reach down and prove something." (Nolan Ryan)

I've been in the hospital

On and off since Tuesday.

Yeah, I guess my head has been else where dealing with the stresses of life and when I was chopping up some fruit I decided it was a good idea to chop my finger also...

Believe it or not it went almost all the way through and I may not be able to bend that finger ever again.

Who needs that one when I have 9 others, right?!

Good grief.




















April Fools!! ;)
I had to do something!

BUUUUT, I have really been in the hospital on and off since Tuesday because my brother and SIL had their baby...little Damien couldn't wait three more weeks.

He is 4 pounds 3 ounces and even though he's in NICU for breathing issues-that are working themselves out which means he'll probably get to go home soon-he's quite the feisty one and absolutely gorgeous! There's something about your own sibling becoming a parent that literally melts your heart. Here's a picture of the beautiful Damien:



I'm so in love.

I think he wanted to come early so he could see the Texas Rangers start their season...Go RANGERS!

It has been a crazy week, it started out rough, as you can tell by my last post, but then my big brother called about little man coming early and it seemed that all my anxieties melted away.

The beautiful miracle of life.

That and your prayers having given me so much strength, I'm so bless to have each and everyone of y'all apart of my life...THANK YOU!

GO RANGERS!!

Ps..sorry about the April fool's joke, I'm one of those people that have to play at least one trick that day (last year I told everyone we got a puppy-I'm wild and crazy I know-everyone fell for it of course!)