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Sunday, January 8, 2012

So emotional

I don't quite get why I have been so emotional the last few days.

Even a sweet friend of mine asked me the other day if it was "that time of the month" because I was tearing up when she was talking about how much she loved her bf and how she was trusting in God's timing for the next step...their engagement.

I told her no, no where near CD1.

It's so strange, even for me, to be crying and getting goosebumps all.day.long. over every.little.thing.

BUT...I think I credit it to being the first of the year and there's something about the first of the year that brings about so much hope and anticipation for what the year will hold for us.

If anyone is lacking in the hope department...just talk to me and I'll happily give you some of the ample amounts of hope that I have.

I've mentioned it before, there's really no reason for THIS much hope but I won't question it.

I love it.

So, today is CD20 and a couple days ago was the first time I saw anything worth getting too excited about (just a very small amount of fertile cm) but still I allowed myself to think positively and run with that hope.

Then here we are CD20 and I have seen quite a bit of good cm...which of course has me thinking and has me hoping. It's been awhile since I've seen anything that good so that makes me feel like maybe my body isn't completely useless, but then again...it's my body and I just never know!

Either way, whether this month brings about something that we have been dreaming about and striving for for over 4 years or if it's brings another CD1...I'm ok because we are making steps in the right direction.

I'm in the middle of getting my charts done to send up to Omaha and I am excited for all that has in store for us.

Then again, seeing this good cm today has me thinking...and hoping...and I'm ok with that!

I'll end with a funny story. Tonight at Mass on the way in I noticed a pamphlet that said "Catholics and Infertility" and was shocked...I've NEVER seen or heard anyone talking about IF at my church or any of the church's I've visited. So on the way out I grabbed it and my husband whispered, "what's that?" and I showed it to me him.

Then he gave me this shocked and confused look.

Apparently he thought it said, "Catholics and infidelity.."

I, of course, laughed and said, "yes, babe...this is how I was going to tell you about my boyfriend..."

It was quite funny though and we both got a good laugh out of it. I haven't read through it but I will say one thing, it brought me much comfort to see that they were offering this because there were so many times (still are) that I feel quite left out when it comes to IF and the Church talking about it.

So in a nutshell:
-Thankful for all this hope!
-Say a prayer for me that my body is doing something worthwhile (ovulateovualateovulate!)
-I have not cheated on my husband.
-Yay for pamphlets with information about IF and the Church.

“Your journey has molded you for the greater good, and it was exactly what it needed to be. Don't think that you've lost time. It took each and every situation you have encountered to bring you to the now. And now is right on time.”
(Asha Tyson)

10 comments:

"All in His Perfect Timing" said...

I LOVE your quote at the end!!! I'm gonna hafta borrow it. :-). I love the hope it inspires! I'm so happy you are so hopeful ... and for the good CM! (I covet the stuff!). Praying for a great cycle for you and I'm excited to read about infertility pamphlets at the church. It's a step in the right direction. I also feel "left out" at times due to infertility.

CM said...

Yay, hope!

Mary said...

You have the BEST QUOTES! I'm taking this one! ;) LOVE IT.

And love you!!! you are so great! I am hopeful for you too :-D :-D :-D Praying!

JellyBelly said...

How wonderful to feel hopeful! It is such a blessing to have that feeling in your heart.

I wish our parishes up here had pamphlets about IF for their parishioners. I've only seen literature like that in the US.

Continued prayers for you!

imusthaveprayedforpatience said...

Yay for fertile cm and for almost having your charts ready for PPVI! Those are things to be hopeful about!

That's great that there's finally a pamphlet for us! I always feel forgotten by the church. There are so many anti-abortion groups and homilies and prays for pregnant women, but nothing for us IFers. Finally, at least a pamphlet!

allyouwhohope said...

Haha! That's hysterical that your husband thought it said infidelity! And how convenient that there'd be a pamphlet right there to let you break the news to him gently ;)

And I'm so glad you have so much hope. What a grace!!

Hebrews 11:1 said...

I love all the hope! Keep on hoping!!! And that is funny about the pamphlet.

Rebecca said...

Yay for Hope! Enjoy the "hope-high" as I call it, and prayers that the good CM does it's job!!!

Ania said...

Hahahahahhahaha! That's hilarious! You'll have to share what the pamphlet says b/c I've never seen one like that. I too have felt like IF was off the Church's radar, except in terms of what treatments not to pursue.

Now a pep talk for your ovaries, "Ladies, get to work, you have a job to do". Yay for good CM!

Emily said...

I'll second the pep talk to your ovaries, I frequently give pep talks to mine too (hasn't worked yet, but never hurts to try right?) - but seriously, I will pray for a nice strong ovulation! :) -Emily