Telling the world...ie: Facebook

So, after our appointment on Thursday we were feeling so elated and excited. We knew right away that we were going to tell the rest of our family and some really good friends after the appointment.
 And we did.
 And it was amazing.
 :)

 But then came the whole, "when do we tell the rest of the world?" And by that we of course mean, FB! 

When I first thought about it, I was unsure if it was a "good idea" to tell the world so soon. Yes, we are a little over 8 weeks, blood work looks good, and we saw our little one and their heart beating away.

 But was it too soon?

 What if, God forbid, something happen?

 But then it hit me like a ton of bricks.... I want to CELEBRATE. I want to CHERISH every.single.moment of this pregnancy.

 This could be our only pregnancy and I would hate to look back and see that we didn't enjoy every moment.

 So, I told the world! ;)
(Facebook)

 I shouted it from the rooftops!!
(My status)

 And people sung songs of joy for us!!
(Commented on our status)

 And I am SOO happy I did because...
This is a miracle.
This is a gift from God.
This is something to CELEBRATE and CHERISH and ENJOY.

 God is SO good.

SOOOOOO INCREDIBLE!!!!!

8 weeks (their precious head is pointing down to the left!!!!):

Seeing him/her and their heart beat is the most BEAUTIFUL thing we have ever seen!!!!!!!

We are on cloud nine over here!!!!!!


Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!

Thank you Jesus!!!!!!!

:):):)

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Tomorrow's the day

We have our first doctor's appointment/sono at 3:30!!

I'm 8 weeks today.

Holy cow...when did that happen?!

I still feel like we just found out...

The excitement/joy/disbelief/shock and awe make it feel like we did at least!

All in all I've felt pretty at peace and excited about everything, but then the day of blood draws (like yesterday, my first in 2 weeks!) I sorta get in to panic mode.

My dh tries to remind me that worry is not from God and that we've got to continue to have faith.

So that's what I'm doing...clinging to my faith.

Trusting Him.
I know he has great things in store for us, and we have already been blessed so much...

I'll keep y'all updated about my appt tomorrow. If y'all remember, could you offer up a prayer (or ten!)!

Thanks!!

Saint Anthony, Saint Gerard, Saint Gianna, Saint Therese, Blsd JPII, pray for us!

"Faith ends where worry begins & worry ends where faith begins."

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It's crazy to think that this time last month

I stopped taking this medicine, and decided to hoard it for this month, since it did such wonders on my cm.

And now, it's just sitting there and when I see it, I smile and think, "best head cold EVER!!!"

We have our first sonogram, with who seems like an amazing doctor, Thur 6/28 @3:30.

EEK!!!
So excited!
So shocked!!

Praying that everything continues to go well and that we continue to have a safe and healthy pregnancy.

"Patience and perseverance have a magical effect before which difficulties disappear and obstacles vanish." [Johnn Quincy Adams]


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The difference between an IFer and an non-IFer

One of my very good friends is pregnant with number 3 and only 3 or so weeks ahead of me.

Talking to her about her pregnancy had me thinking about our pregnancy and how very different they are.

She found out she was pregnant and told family fairly quickly-to celebrate the newest member.

We did the same however, we told asking for prayers and petitions for our pregnancy.

She has not done any blood work, just like the other two pregnancies, because the missing period and BFP were enough to confirm she was pregnant.

I have done lots of blood work to check my hcg and progesterone and know I will most likely be closely monitored this entire pregnancy.

She is 10 weeks and looking at scheduling her first sonogram to get a look at her baby.

I'm 7 weeks and am excited mixed with anxiety because I know that sometimes, things do not go well when going into that first sonogram.

Shes already announced on Facebook that #3 is on the way-without any other confirmation except for that missing period and BFP.

We haven't even told our whole family yet and most def not all our friends. We will wait until the sonogram. [Although I guess I one up her since I told the world wide web almost instantly after finding out! ;)]

I guess it's just crazy to see the two sides...

One knows the excitement and joy of having no issues getting pregnant and delivering.

The other knows the heart ache and pain that comes with years of her body failing her and also, knowing so many amazing women who have had to suffer with loss.

The thing is, I'm not jealous...I'm so beyond grateful for every moment in this crazy journey of ours.

It's helped us to learn to truly cherish every single moment and realize just how precious and fragile life is.

I know that not all non-IFers are as carefree as my friend (who is amazing and so supportive!!!) but it makes sense for some people to be like that...because, thankfully, it most likely means they don't know the pain of carrying the cross of IF.

So yes, in these last couple weeks I've seen two very different views on getting pregnant!

As for me and my dh, each day we wake up, we thank God for this gift and we pray that he will watch over this little one with his loving and protective arms.

I'm still in shock and feel like I'm walking around in a beautiful dream.

I still can't believe it, but then again, when I turn and lay on my bo.obs wrong and they hurt.so.bad or when I go too long before eating and find myself in the bathroom dry heaving or even that fact that I've never been an afternoon nap kinda gal and now it's pretty grand, well...it's a beautiful reminder that something is definitely going on....a little life growing and changing daily, nestled safely inside my womb.

We've had so much peace and excitement about all of this.

And yes, there's still moments of fear or anxiety, but when that happens, we offer it up and thank God for all his beautiful blessings.

But...mostly, 5 years and our first pregnancy...well, we are definitely in a beautiful shock still!!!

Keep growing baby!!! We love you so much already and can't wait to meet you!!!








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Protein?

I heard back from PPVI with my labs and they want me to continue to use the suppositories and injections since it was in a low zone 2.

But then, the nurse mentioned something about my protein level (I can't recall the exact wording) and mentioned they like to see it between 0-2.5 and mine was 5.

She said not to be startled, but they check it because it can be a sign of pre-term labor and so she asked all the questions: cramping? No. Bleeding? No. Lower back pain? No. Etc...

She said it could be caused by other things other than the preterm labor, like a cold (which I don't have) or a cut or pulled muscle or whatever.

Anyways, of course I turned to doctor goo.gle and I found nothing.

So, I was really hoping y'all would have advice or any information.

I really don't want to worry because worrying doesn't really get me anywhere but...it's so hard not to.

So any advice or information?



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I got the results for my third blood draw..

And...

They are going up!!!!

I'm in beautiful, wonderful shock!!!

Thank y'all for the prayers and all the wonderful advice!!!!

Here's the numbers:
6/5
Hcg #1 250
Prog #1 6.2

6/7
Hcg #2 658
Prog #2 8.6

6/11
Hcg #3 2,542
Prog #3 14.8

And I sent my blood draw to Omaha today without any hiccups or difficulties.

I can.not.believe all this is happening to us.

God is good!!!

Grow sweet baby, grow!!

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What's the address for the PPVI lab?

Where did y'all mail your blood?

I tried looking it up but figured I'd go straight to people that have been there done that!

Thanks in advanced!

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I am having to fight for this little one

And not that I would want it any other way, just that I thought my doctors office would fight for them also.

I discovered today, though, they definitely fit in the "secular" hospital.

What does that mean?

Well, apparently progesterone isn't that important to them.

I get the impression, if it goes up, great, if not, then maybe you aren't meant to be pregnant.

Here's how my day went.

Woke up at 11 and was bummed that I hadn't been woken up earlier from my phone ringing from my doctors office.

To say I was anxious for the hcg and progesterone results is an understatement.

Anyways, so I call them at 11:30 and here was the conversation:

Nurse: hello?

Me: yes, it's J and i'm calling to see if you have my lab results, since y'all close at 1:00 today and I most certainly can't see myself waiting until Monday. Also, this is our first pregnancy in 5 years and so I want to be extra cautious and do everything I can.

Nurse: Oh wow, y'all must have decided to relax!

*i say nothing but an uncomfortable laugh and an "ok." I am in a bit of shock that that was spoken, but not important.

Me: So do y'all have my lab results?

Nurse: Hmm, I'm not so sure, but I can check for you...oh wait, haha, they're right here on my desk actually.

*i start to get a little frustrated thinking about what if I hadn't called then...would they have simply waited until Monday, since their office was closing in 1.5 hours.

Nurse: Okay, your Hcg went from 250 on Monday, to 658 on Thursday.

Me: That's ok right, since I read that it needs to be doubling every 72 hours..right?

Nurse: Well, yes, that's true but I'd like to see the number higher, so you aren't out of the clear yet.

*insert pit in my stomach and doubt about anything I had ever read/been told.

Me: Oh, ok...what about my progesterone? I'm worried about it being low and about that one pill per night not being enough.

Nurse: Yeah, it seems it's only gone from 6.2-8.6. That's still really low.

Me: well what is your protocol at the office? I mean, it needs to be higher to support the baby.

Nurse: it's early in your pregnancy and that's all we do.

Me: so, I have low progesterone and you want me to keep going the same thing?

Nurse: that's correct. We'll have you do another blood draw Monday to see about those numbers...the hcg and progesterone.

*this is when I realize I'm so grateful that I trusted my gut and yalls advice about contacting PPVI to monitor my progesterone.

Me: okay, we'll I wanted y'all to know that we are working with a fertility specialist up in Omaha and they're sticklers for progesterone and they actually were quite concern about the Los levels and have over nights the injections to me. Do yall do injections by the way?

Nurse: we pretty much do the one pill at night.

Me: okay, well we are going to be working with them also and they want me to start injections today and I just wanted y'all to know.

Nurse: okay, I'll just put it down in your chart that y'all are handling that part on your own. Y'all have a wonderful weekend and don't forget your blood draw Monday!

So yeah, I was baffled a bit. I mean, I honestly assumed that they would be willing to do more, heck, even up the pills!! But no, they were sticking to what they know.

At first I wondered why we would have to go through all the trouble and send in our medical records into PPVI, and then get the letter only to find out a few short days later, that we were pregnant (my heart still is in shock and skips a happy beat when I say this!!!).

Well, it has been amazingly perfect because the nurses up there have contacted me and arranged for the injections to be delivered and all while I'm still trying to figure out how to ship my labs (which I may have figured out!!).

I was already in their system.

The timing was perfect.

Anyways, so in a nutshell, I'm so grateful for PPVI and their willing to fight for this little being, along with my dh and I.

The other doctors office is nice, don't get me wrong, I can just tell that they don't quite view this little one as a baby...but a pregnancy that could go either way.

It's the end of the day, my bum hurts from my first injection, I'm not cramping or spotting and I'm just sitting here, thanking God for allowing both my husband and I to be co-creators of life with Him.

I pray my numbers rise properly and that this little one continues to grow, so that hopefully, God willing we will meet them in 8 months!

Goodnight for now, I've got to get my beauty rest...tomorrow is our five year anniversary and I certainly don't want to have bags under my eyes!!

“Perseverance is not a long race; it is many short races one after the other” [Walter Elliot, Catholic priest]

Saint Gerard, Saint Anthony, Saint Therese, Saint Gianna, Blsd JPII...pray for us!!

I called PPVI ***updated ***updated again

Just to get another opinion/see what they thought and the receptionist said that she would let the nurses know ASAP and that they may have me get started on injections right away.

I'm not so sure what will happen, but in the past my body has never been stellar at responding to medicines (ie:clomid, hcg) so just taking one 200 mg suppository of prometrium at night just doesn't feel right.

Who knows, all I know is I want to be proactive in all this.

I have this little one that my body is suppose to nourish and make strong and if there's something it's not doing right, well, I'm going to at least try.

I'll keep everyone updated. Thank you for the comments and advice, it's helped ease my mind so much.

I know this little one ultimately belongs to God, it's just, we'd really like to meet them and hold them and love them.

I'm praying that the fear and anxiety I am having I can offer it up-because it's not from God.

Jesus, we trust in you...

***they asked me to find a lab that will ship...I've called all the labs I can think of and they think I'm crazy...what am I suppose to do?

***thanks again for the advice, once we get our blood drawn tomorrow and the results (hopefully tomorrow and not Friday) we will decide what to do. I haven't even asked my current doctor if they do injections and all I know is I'm freaking.the.heck.out which is not good. So now that I have my list of what PPVI wants me to do to get started, I'm at ease knowing I have them if my current doctor isnt proactive-which my SIL assures me they will be. Today, I need to relax, say my prayers and count my blessings that as of now, we are still pregnant...something that we never thought we would accomplish on our own without medical intervention.

5 years in the making...

I'm calling on two saints in particular to help and intercede for us, Saint Gerard and Saint Anthony, so if y'all wouldn't mind offering up a prayer or two, asking for their intercessory support, id gratefully appreciate it.

Praying that I will calm down, offer up this precious miracle to our Lord and also that my body responds to the prometrium.

Saint Anthony, Saint Gerard...PRAY FOR US.

Jesus, we trust in you.

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Please pray for us

I finally heard back and the numbers made my stomach sink.

And I was feeling at peace with everything...

Until I heard my numbers:
Hcg:250
Progesterone:6.2

Please pleas pray...that peaceful feeling has been replaced with fear and anxiety.

:(

*He prescribed progesterone suppositories and then is having me redo my labs thur.

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Anxiously waiting ***updated

Last night as I crawled into bed, still in complete shock over everything that has happened in the last couple of days, I set my alarm for 8:45-so that I could call my doctor first thing when they open.

Ha.

Like I needed an alarm.

I had really hoped that I would wake up with the alarm because that would mean only 15 minutes before their office opened.

But instead, 6am rolled around and I am wide.awake.

It's crazy how exhausted I have been lately.

So very tired.

Like last week, before having any idea of the miracle that was to occur, I was taking afternoon naps-which I never do.

But now that we know-well, after nearly 5 years of hoping, praying, begging, and trusting...how the heck am I suppose to sleep?!

Im exhausted yes, but that mind of mine will not.stop.

Thankfully any fear and anxiety has been at a minimum, it's just the sheer fact that me...after so many months and years of negatives, I got a positive.

Me?

The girl's who body doesn't ovulate.

I'm in awe and shock!

Thank you Jesus!!

Speaking of Jesus, at mass yesterday everything was fine and dandy until we went to walk up for communion.

At that moment we stood to walk up, I lost it.

Tears filled my eyes, that big knot rested right there in my throat and my heart filled with so much happiness and joy.

For so many years I had approached communion and asked and begged that the Lord would hear our cries of conceiving and becoming pregnant and growing our family.

For years, I approached the alter filled with pain, brokenness and sadness.

But now, I was approaching just days after finding out about the biggest miracle to ever happen to us.

I felt joy, happiness and so much hope.

It was truly indescribable-well, I did just try and describe it, but my words do not do justice to what my heart/mind/soul were feeling...

And now, at 7 am I'm laying in bed, super anxious for 9:00 to roll around.

Still in shock.
Still in awe.
Still filled with hope and faith.
And most definitely, still filled with gratitude to our Lord.

Praying that our blood work goes well today...

And speaking of prayers...THANK Y'ALL. My heart has been overfilled with gratitude for the outpouring of prayers these last few days.

I've been so very amazed!

Thank you!!!

***the nurses were really sweet when I called up there and sent me for my blood work this morning around 10:00. I won't find out my levels until tomorrow-maybe even the next day, but I'm really hoping for tomorrow!! She said def if there was anything wrong (ie:low progesterone) she would let me know ASAP. So now...I wait. Oh, and can I tell you how much of a crazy person I was when I started calling at 9? Well, I was crazy...because they had their answering machine saying the officers were closed and not open until 9, blah blah blah. I called SOOO many times and then the glorious nurse picked up at 9:16! Oh geez! Glad we have the blood work ball rolling....

Shock and disbelief!!!!!!!!!

June 9th marks 5 years of marriage.

5 years of being open to life and to our family expanding.

4.5 years of working with doctors.

Hundreds of negative pregnancy tests.

We were about to start working with the Pope Paul Institute.

And then...what seems like the biggest surprise/shock/blessing/miracle/oh my goodness ever...we see this last night:

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Oh.my.goodness!!!!!!!

I've been walking around in a fog/haze all day...so has the dh.

I've had slight cramping on my right side (where I normally have cramping from) and have noticed a little spotting (brownish/pinkish) twice. We will go in Monday for blood work. I'm just trying to celebrate and not worry or fret right now because we can't get the blood work until Monday anyways.

Eek!!

I'm in shock.
And in glorious disbelief over this miracle!!!

Please pray for us!!!!

I'll tell y'all more about the details later.

OH MY GOODNESS!!!

Saint Therese, Saint Gerard, Saint Gianna, Blsd JpII, Saint Anthony...all the angels and saints...pray for us!!!

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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