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Monday, June 4, 2012

Anxiously waiting ***updated

Last night as I crawled into bed, still in complete shock over everything that has happened in the last couple of days, I set my alarm for 8:45-so that I could call my doctor first thing when they open.

Ha.

Like I needed an alarm.

I had really hoped that I would wake up with the alarm because that would mean only 15 minutes before their office opened.

But instead, 6am rolled around and I am wide.awake.

It's crazy how exhausted I have been lately.

So very tired.

Like last week, before having any idea of the miracle that was to occur, I was taking afternoon naps-which I never do.

But now that we know-well, after nearly 5 years of hoping, praying, begging, and trusting...how the heck am I suppose to sleep?!

Im exhausted yes, but that mind of mine will not.stop.

Thankfully any fear and anxiety has been at a minimum, it's just the sheer fact that me...after so many months and years of negatives, I got a positive.

Me?

The girl's who body doesn't ovulate.

I'm in awe and shock!

Thank you Jesus!!

Speaking of Jesus, at mass yesterday everything was fine and dandy until we went to walk up for communion.

At that moment we stood to walk up, I lost it.

Tears filled my eyes, that big knot rested right there in my throat and my heart filled with so much happiness and joy.

For so many years I had approached communion and asked and begged that the Lord would hear our cries of conceiving and becoming pregnant and growing our family.

For years, I approached the alter filled with pain, brokenness and sadness.

But now, I was approaching just days after finding out about the biggest miracle to ever happen to us.

I felt joy, happiness and so much hope.

It was truly indescribable-well, I did just try and describe it, but my words do not do justice to what my heart/mind/soul were feeling...

And now, at 7 am I'm laying in bed, super anxious for 9:00 to roll around.

Still in shock.
Still in awe.
Still filled with hope and faith.
And most definitely, still filled with gratitude to our Lord.

Praying that our blood work goes well today...

And speaking of prayers...THANK Y'ALL. My heart has been overfilled with gratitude for the outpouring of prayers these last few days.

I've been so very amazed!

Thank you!!!

***the nurses were really sweet when I called up there and sent me for my blood work this morning around 10:00. I won't find out my levels until tomorrow-maybe even the next day, but I'm really hoping for tomorrow!! She said def if there was anything wrong (ie:low progesterone) she would let me know ASAP. So now...I wait. Oh, and can I tell you how much of a crazy person I was when I started calling at 9? Well, I was crazy...because they had their answering machine saying the officers were closed and not open until 9, blah blah blah. I called SOOO many times and then the glorious nurse picked up at 9:16! Oh geez! Glad we have the blood work ball rolling....

24 comments:

All in His Perfect Timing said...

I would be too excited to sleep too!!!
I'm thrilled for you, mommy!

Megan said...

Yay I am so completely overjoyed for you!

imusthaveprayedforpatience said...

I felt the same way when I got my positive and had to wait until the next day to call the dr's office. I absolutely could not sleep, and it dawned on me why all of a sudden I had been taking afternoon naps. I thought I had been getting sick or something. lol. Praying for great blood work!

Julie said...

WOW! I was out of town this weekend so I am just reading this now!
Praise God for your miracle!!!!

Congrats!!!!

January said...

I somehow missed this big announcement this weekend! OH MY GOODNESS! Praise the Lord! I am so happy for you. Praying your bloodwork is stellar!

This_Cross_I_Embrace said...

Congratulations!!! JellyBelly let me know the news, this is so great!!!

Abigail said...

I remember feeling overwhelmed at my First Eucharist after struggling for 3 years with Secondary Infertility. Beautiful! Praying hard that all goes well today.

Thankful said...

I would like to title this comment "anxiously stalking" :) looking forward to a positive report from the Dr. Hope they order that "stat"!!!

Jenny said...

I can't wait to hear the news!!!! Praying!!!! I remember feeling the same thing when I got my bfp. I couldn't even wait to call... I showed up when I knew they were doing ultrasounds and was like... "take my blood now!!". I'm
Not good with patience!!!

Rebecca said...

Praying for you!!!! Waiting is the hardest part of so many many things!!

Joy Beyond the Cross said...

WHAAAT...no update and it is 2:30pm central time. Oh, the impatience of it all!! :) Please put me out of misery and let us know what your numbers are. I know, I know I can be pushy...but pretty please with a cherry on top! ;)

A Martha trying to be Mary said...

Praying for you! I completely understand being anxious and not being able to wait. A moment so awaited it could not be different. I was even worse! =)

JellyBelly said...

Continued prayers!!!!

Sarah said...

Oh my gosh, this brings me back just 6 months ago to our own positive. I had had the worst PMS ever (and my PMS is super bad to begin with) and was so, so, so tired. I had thought it was my body not working and instead it was the opposite. We got our positive on Jan. 2nd and offices were closed until Jan. 3rd for the New Year's holiday. And then I was waking up hours before any office was open, etc. Anyway, all this to say, I am glad you were able to get your bloodwork done and praying the bloodwork results are awesome!

Sew said...

Stalking you big time!

Waiting Hopefully said...

Still praying for you! Hoping for wonderful results! :-D

Ania said...

Whew, the fatigue is serious, LoL. I remember my first communion afterwards, it was amazing. Hoping your bloodwork looks great, grow baby grow!

Hebrews 11:1 said...

I am so happy for you! I remember those emotions like they were yesterday. And, I remember the exhaustion. :) Praying for good bloodwork results!

BlessedBeLord said...

I am still amazed at this beautiful miracle. It is so apt just like your blog title that faith makes things possible not easy!!! I can't wait to hear the bloodwork results. You could also get your progesterone monitored by PPVI. And it won't harm to be on some progesterone supplements. Praying!

Kaitlin @ More Like Mary said...

Congratulations!!!!!!! In tears for you!

Sew said...

U r killing me

Isaiah 55:8-9 said...

Just THRILLED for you!! Praying as you continue to wait! It seems like that's all we do, huh? :)

imusthaveprayedforpatience said...

Aaaaaah! I'm dying to find out how the blood results are. Praying for great results! I keep checking blogger like every hour!

Jenny said...

I'm about ready to call your doctor myself!!! Not that I know who your doctor is... but if I did, I would!!!