One of my very good friends is pregnant with number 3 and only 3 or so weeks ahead of me.
Talking to her about her pregnancy had me thinking about our pregnancy and how very different they are.
She found out she was pregnant and told family fairly quickly-to celebrate the newest member.
We did the same however, we told asking for prayers and petitions for our pregnancy.
She has not done any blood work, just like the other two pregnancies, because the missing period and BFP were enough to confirm she was pregnant.
I have done lots of blood work to check my hcg and progesterone and know I will most likely be closely monitored this entire pregnancy.
She is 10 weeks and looking at scheduling her first sonogram to get a look at her baby.
I'm 7 weeks and am excited mixed with anxiety because I know that sometimes, things do not go well when going into that first sonogram.
Shes already announced on Facebook that #3 is on the way-without any other confirmation except for that missing period and BFP.
We haven't even told our whole family yet and most def not all our friends. We will wait until the sonogram. [Although I guess I one up her since I told the world wide web almost instantly after finding out! ;)]
I guess it's just crazy to see the two sides...
One knows the excitement and joy of having no issues getting pregnant and delivering.
The other knows the heart ache and pain that comes with years of her body failing her and also, knowing so many amazing women who have had to suffer with loss.
The thing is, I'm not jealous...I'm so beyond grateful for every moment in this crazy journey of ours.
It's helped us to learn to truly cherish every single moment and realize just how precious and fragile life is.
I know that not all non-IFers are as carefree as my friend (who is amazing and so supportive!!!) but it makes sense for some people to be like that...because, thankfully, it most likely means they don't know the pain of carrying the cross of IF.
So yes, in these last couple weeks I've seen two very different views on getting pregnant!
As for me and my dh, each day we wake up, we thank God for this gift and we pray that he will watch over this little one with his loving and protective arms.
I'm still in shock and feel like I'm walking around in a beautiful dream.
I still can't believe it, but then again, when I turn and lay on my bo.obs wrong and they hurt.so.bad or when I go too long before eating and find myself in the bathroom dry heaving or even that fact that I've never been an afternoon nap kinda gal and now it's pretty grand, well...it's a beautiful reminder that something is definitely going on....a little life growing and changing daily, nestled safely inside my womb.
We've had so much peace and excitement about all of this.
And yes, there's still moments of fear or anxiety, but when that happens, we offer it up and thank God for all his beautiful blessings.
But...mostly, 5 years and our first pregnancy...well, we are definitely in a beautiful shock still!!!
Keep growing baby!!! We love you so much already and can't wait to meet you!!!
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12 comments:
Ahhhhhh!!!! I totally missed that you were pregnant!!! I am over the moon happy for you and your DH! Yay! Thank you God! We will definitely be praying for a healthy pregnancy for you! It is so true about how IF makes you count the blessings of pregnancy in a completely different way! I definitely relate to this post.
enjoy it because you really are living the dream! a beautiful, beautiful dream. i still feel the same way when i look at his little face and hear his noises. soak it all up because it is amazing, even the hard parts like dry heaving :)
I've a had a lot of friends in the situation you describe too and i've unfortunately been reminded how really, i'd prefer your situation. a couple of my friends were brought back to the reality of the fragility of life through miscarriages and its painful to watch them go from blissfully unaware to devastated and then feeling guilty. its much better i think to fearfully but with joy recognize the wonder of each day pregnant, although it has come at a price. i hope she doesn't have to experience that of course, its just a reminder.
All of what you said is so true. In a way, we IFers and past miscarriage sufferers are kind of blessed in that we really appreciate the miracle of a child and what it takes to get him/her here and just how precious each life really is. It's not something that just happens, like an accident. The whole process is simply a miracle.
Yes, the anxiety that comes with a pregnancy after IF is so terrible. But when we trust in God, he will calm down all our fears.
Praying for your upcoming sonogram.
What a happy post! That was totally me with AJ- I would joke regularly that he was a 'surprise.' I shudder to think if I ever said it to someone who had IF. So glad you are tired and nauseous and peaceful!
The two different views will continue. Over time the fear and trepidation will subside, but the joy and gratitude will stick around. Angela's right, IF totally makes you appreciate the miracle on a whole other level.
I am rarely glad to hear that anyone is feeling crappy, but I'll confess that I felt joy to learn that your boobs are sore and you're dry heaving, lol. Sorry about that. So happy for the precious little life inside you!
A glimpse of a world where pregnancies and families don't come easily makes it that much more amazing when it does come! Praying that your first ultrasound is amazing, and so excited for you and this beautiful gift you have been given!
1. I am still SO excited for you!
2. Honestly, I consider the extra monitoring a blessing (as it seems you do too). The reality is, regardless of fertility history, stuff can happen. We learned this when one of my family members with no history of any trouble ever lost her 4th. Had there been monitoring maybe it could have been prevented (I am still so sad that we have no idea what was going on with that pregnancy and the "what ifs"). What a wake up call that was, and I was thanking God for all my crazy blood draws and meds that gave me reassurance and made me feel like we were doing everything possible.
3. Keep enjoying all those first tri symptoms - seriously! It's so amazing. :) It's the best "sick/tired" ever. :)
The differences are astounding. I was so nervous for the first u/s but gradually peace has replaced fear. Hoping the same for you.
It is *so different* between those that take PG for granted and those that don't. You realize what a gift you're given. I wish everyone would.
Praying for you and your sweet baby!
Thank you so much!!
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