Roller coaster ride...just wish I knew when I could get off!

When you struggle with fertility you feel like you are on a constant roller coaster ride. The slow tedious "up" of the coaster feels like it takes forever and the anticipation of not knowing and feeling left out hurts. The "down" part is the part that is fun, full of hope, your trusting meter is at full compacity and you just know you can handle this.

But then you have another spout of "up" time and it sucks.

And it never ends.

Or at least you don't know when it will end.

And that part is hard.

I know that I am not the first person to compare IF with a roller coaster ride and I'm sure I wont be the last, but it seems the two fit so perfectly together.

You see, as I mentioned in a couple post back-I was having a not great day. I was feeling sad, defeated and bitter. Then yesterday I prayed and hoped and slowly started feeling at peace with everything and my trusting meter was so full and actually had a moment where I was excited for our future.

Then today hits and I read another pregnancy announcement on FB and I get kicked in the gut and realized that yet again, I'm taking that slow trek back up on this roller coaster called IF.

This particular couple was one of two couples that I know IRL that have struggled and they did IUI or IVF and now are expecting a boy in February. To each their own. I know that even though they don't have the same beliefs as us in regards to fertility treatment, it doesn't mean that it doesn't hurt that I'm feeling left behind yet again.

I just got that overwhelming feeling that I was being left in the dust by everyone-those that don't have to try, those that do, etc...

I was feeling pretty down and my husband suggested that we both get off FB for awhile...so I think that's what we'll do. I know it'll help. Damn you FB.

Him and I worked out together and that helped tremendously. Gotta love those endorphins-they're real!!

And now I have my hair all curled, fun makeup on and snazzy red shoes on because I'm off to celebrate a girlfriend's birthday with dinner and margaritas (I'm posting a picture because I'm pretty proud of my hair...I just learned how to curl it like this-I have board straight hair):


Life goes on and I just keep reminding myself to not let "comparison steal my joy." and really, when I remind myself of this (umm...think like 50 majillion billion gazillion times a day) it helps. I can't forget the many blessings in my life.

God has great things in store for us.

He's got great things in store for all of us still waiting.

Here's clinging to that hope and not letting go of that trust.

"In all things it is better to hope than to despair." (Van Goethe)