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Thursday, October 27, 2011

Broken down/lifted up all in one night.

I don't know what it is but this week, I have been on pins and needles and everything seems to make me cry: commercials, songs, people, quotes, happy stuff, sad stuff, scary stuff, the potential of the Rangers winning the World Series for the first time ever, getting hugs, etc...

I'm not PMSing so I'm a bit confused.

Thankfully it's not just sad tears, mostly it's tears of joy or tears or hope or tears of happiness.

I'm a pretty passionate/sensitive person to begin with but this is a little bit much, even for me.

Well, one night this week my husband and I just talking about random non-IF related stuff and laughing and enjoying just hanging out at home with one another.

Then, slowly it started turning into IF related stuff and I just broke down and said, "sometimes I feel like I have to hold back my fears, sadness and hurt from you because you seem so sure and so confident and I don't want to bring you down!"

Of course after this statement was made I broke down into a million tears...out of nowhere.

My poor dh.

He's so amazing.

I went on to tell him that I love his support and confidence but that sometimes, just sometimes it would be nice to hear that he was indeed hurting over this also.

It was a loooong conversation with lots of tears and laughter and understanding.

We are both on the same page.

In the same boat.

I ended our conversation by saying, "I just need you. You are amazing and I need you always to be there. I need your strength to help me when I am feeling scared and not so strong. I just need you."

He hugged and kissed me and we wiped our tears and headed to bed.

Then while we were in bed...seemingly ready to fall asleep after such an emotional ride, he leans over and says that he wanted me to listen to a song, a song that made him think of us. He said he wanted to play it because it expressed just how he feels, even though there are times he has trouble expressing it in words.

So, he played the song.

And I cried.

Shocking! ;)

But the song was so beautiful and such a wonderful reminder that he and I, no matter how we handled the stress and hardship, were in this boat together and that we needed one another.

I need him.

He needs me.

Man oh man am I blessed to have such an incredible, amazing, wonderful blessing...

He's the best.

Here's the lyrics to the song by the way:

Griggs Andy
"She Thinks She Needs Me"

She thinks I walk on water
She thinks I hung the moon
She tells me every morning,
"They just don’t make men like you"

She thinks I’ve got it together
She swears I’m as tough as nails
But I don’t have the heart to tell her
She don’t know me that well

She don’t know how much I need her
She don’t know I’d fall apart
Without her kiss, without her touch
Without her faithful, loving arms
She don’t know that it’s all about her
She don’t know I can’t live without her
She’s my world, she’s my everything
And she thinks she needs me

Sometimes she cries on my shoulder
When she’s lying next to me
But she don’t know that when I hold her
That she’s really holding me, holding me

She don’t know how much I need her
She don’t know I’d fall apart
Without her kiss, without her touch
Without her faithful, loving arms
She don’t know that it’s all about her
She don’t know I can’t live without her
She’s my world, she’s my everything
And she thinks she needs me

Yeah, and the funny thing is
She thinks she’s the lucky one

She don’t know how much I need her
She don’t know I’d fall apart
Without her kiss, without her touch
Without her faithful, loving arms
She don’t know that it’s all about her
She don’t know I can’t live without her
She’s my world, she’s my everything
And she thinks she needs me

13 comments:

imusthaveprayedforpatience said...

What a sweet husband! Those hormones really work us over, don't they? Thank goodness for loving, understanding, sweet husbands!

CM said...

That is a sweet song!

Perfect Power in Weakness said...

Yay for sweet DHs!

Rebecca said...

And now I am crying.

I find that I am actually the most emotional closest to peak day. I tend to be 'ready' for and expecting CD1, but the emotional roller coaster of hoping, but trying not to get my hopes up is exhausting and usually results in days like you described.

I do not yet have the confidence to have that conversation with The Man. I know he hurts, I see it in his eyes, but I, selfishly, still need him to be strong. I barely let myself cry in front of him yet, as I try to stay strong. I love how your husband responded, and it gives me hope that when the time is right, mine will respond the same (I know he will, it's my fears about myself, not him that hold me back.)

Yikes! Sorry for the long comment.

Love that song :).

Ania said...

Beautiful song!

Isn't it great how spouses balance each other out?

Leila @ Little Catholic Bubble said...

You are so blessed!!

JellyBelly said...

Your dh is AMAZING! How wonderful that he was able to lift your spirits!

Megan said...

This is amazing! I love that song! You two are a beautiful example of marriage. :)

Mary said...

oh my goodness. Crying. That is so beautiful :)

Sew said...

So cute! That's a real man you got there sweets!

Grace in my Heart said...

So sweet! :)

Women for All Seasons said...

This is so sweet. Those conversations of complete honesty and vulnerability are a little intense but so good and important. This made me tear up a little just reading it, reminds me of my husband :) and now I'm feeling all sappy too.

Novie

"All in His Perfect Timing" said...

What an amazing husband you have!!!! The song is SO beautiful. I love how he chose it for the two of you.
I am the gal who also needs her husband to let her know that yes, he hurts too. It's hard to hear, but comforting at the same time. (((((hugs)))))