Follicle check

I'm trying really hard not too feel down or overwhelmed or sad...

But, I'm failing miserably.

Today I went in for my CD12 follicle check full of hope. I just knew there would be some follicles that were mature and I just knew it wouldn't be like the last million times I left a sonogram with NO follicles big enough for ovulation.

And I was wrong.

10 mm was the biggest one they could find. It took literally everything in me not to break down right then and there.

Because this was my first time with THIS nurse and I wasn't going to look like a pathetic, blubbering fool, even though I already felt like one...trousers down...little, not cooperative follicles plastered all over the computer screen...hands shaking...heart racing...

My ovaries need to step it up.

Please?

I want to be able to leave a sonogram appointment with tears of JOY...

Not tears of pain and defeat.

I'll go back Monday, CD16 for another check. I'm still hoping and I'm still praying that my ovaries will kick it in to high gear so as to reaffirm all this hope I [still] feel.

I hate this post being such a downer, but my DH worked last night and so he's sleeping and I needed to vent.

The venting will help me offer it back up and move on until Monday, when I'm back at it again.

"When you feel like giving up, remember why you held on for so long in the first place."