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Tuesday, February 22, 2011

"Miracles [to some] are simple...belief is hard"

After not falling asleep until 530ish...I woke up this morning feeling all out of sorts.

Anxiety had completely filled my being.

Worries about fertility.
Worries about financial stuff.
Worries about my spiritual life.
Worries about...
Worries.

I sat in bed and prayed that God world please grant me some sort of peace of mind, heart and soul.

I prayed and prayed and vowed today I wouldn't let anxiety and worry dominate over me.

So...my dh and I washed the car together and enjoyed the beautiful Texas weather, together.

And this helped.

We then went on a run together.
Well, with the crazy 6 month old lab-which will not happen again because he's too spazzy at this point. That and my body was struggling with the run alone- since it had been far too long since I've run-and crazy pup made it more difficult.

That helped lift my spirits even more. I mean, hello endorphins!

Then I showered and did a little crafting before we got ready for adoration.

Crafting always helps a bit.

Then on our way to adoration we decided to do Day 2 of the St. Damien novena. [Side note-my big brother is awesome and decided that him, my SIL, my husband and I and my little brother and his wife would all pray this together starting yesterday...praying for us to conceive and also for my little bro and his wife who are trying also].
Reading day two brought me to tears...God was speaking directly to me through this novena...the words are exactly what I needed to hear to help me continue to get out of my funk. These are the words that spoke directly to my weary (but mending!) heart:

"...I humbly ask that in addition to the particular grace that I ask in this Novena, you would grant me the favor of never becoming discouraged in the adversities of this life. May I always be encouraged by heavenly hope that I might always live confidently in your merciful love."

Exactly what I needed to hear-God's good like that.

Then we went to adoration. I was feeling a renewed sense of hope and a wave of comfort. As I was reading a book from the chapel and a line was highlighted in the middle of the page:

"Miracles [to some] are simple. Belief is hard."

The quote spoke to me and I truly felt that at that moment God was telling me to believe...to have confidence.

So I found myself re-offering up all my anxieties and worry to God.

And for the first time in quite while I felt ok.

So, it was a good day. I had not only physically worked out but i feel as though i had emotionally, mentally and spiritually "worked out" as well.

And boy oh boy did I need this day.

Thank you Lord.

"There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle."(Albert Einstein)


11 comments:

Little JoAnn said...

;(

So sad you are feeling anxious.
Do you know the prayer of St. Theresa of Avila


Let Nothing Trouble You...

Anxiety is the worst. The absolute worst. Peace to You.


Jesus I trust in You.


Prayers RIGHT NOW for you, dear.

JellyBelly said...

Anxiety sucks.

I'm also having a hard time trusting in the Lord's plan for me and all the prayers that I know aren't helping me.

Exercise does help, I'm so thankful that I lead an active life. If it weren't for those extra endorphins I would've been put in the crazy house a long time ago.

Btw, can you email me your real name? I've been praying for you by blog name! (jellybelly_75 at yahoo dot com)

Nicole C said...

Anxiety IS terrible! But it sounds like you had a great day. Don't you love when God speaks directly to you like that?? I love it!

Lauren @ Magnify the Lord with Me said...

What a sweet day! Glad He gave you the strength to turn it around!

Lauren @ Magnify the Lord with Me said...

That quote in the book reminds me of your blog title, too!

Mary said...

I read most of this book (had to give it to a friend before finishing!) called "Searching for and maintaining peace" (I don't have it with me or I'd give you more info!) and I'm tellin ya, I NEEDED it. It was helpful! I am a worry wart! Perhaps you've read it already but if not, perhaps it'd help?!

So glad God spoke to you - He is so good! I'll be praying for you dear!!!

Jen said...

What a beautiful idea for you and your older brother (and your spouses) to pray that novena for you and your younger brother! That's just awesome. How thoughtful of your older brother to suggest it and pray with you.

Julie said...

Let nothing trouble you,
let nothing frighten you.
All things are passing;
God never changes.
Patience obtains all things.
He who possesses God lacks nothing:
God alone suffices.

C. said...

I struggle with anxiety, too.

It's hard!

So glad you are feeling better. :)

Bobbi said...

Anxiety and worry are my middle names. I'm right there with you, Sistah! But, it really sounds like God is reaching out to you. He wants to give you peace...peace that He knows what he's doing...but that peace is so flittering (at least, it is for me!). One minute, I feel confident and comfortable that God is in control and that I will one day have my baby, but then I sign on Facebook and see pregnancy announcements and that peace floats away. It's so hard living in a world that is so "baby this / baby that," but we just have to remain confident that our time will come. I'm so glad you are feeling better and I hope you sleep better!

Suzie-Q T-Pie said...

Love that quote!
Sorry your having a hard time. :(