Tomorrow's the day!

I've been working my booty off planning and coordinating tomorrow's baby shower for my SIL...the one who was blessed to conceive just a few short weeks after she married my brother this past July.

I was a bit hesitant to offer to throw the shower because I wasn't sure if I would be strong enough to handle it. But through prayer and talking it out with my husband, I decided I could and I would coordinate this special event....

Because I would want someone to take the time and effort into planning my, by the grace of God, baby shower one day.

I am such an odd ball-maybe it's all IFers or maybe it's just me-but I'm emotionally invested into this shower. I want it to be special.

So special because it celebrates the joyful anticipation of a miracle.

And even though they "weren't trying"...this little being is a miracle and is forever a part of our family.

And that's why I want it to be special...

Handmade decorations.
Cleaning the house from corner to corner.
Coordinating with other family members about what they can do.
Etc...

Because that's what I would want if I were the one pregnant.

....

Tonight I'm anxious. I've been so strong and hadn't really thought about what I was getting myself into...

I can't run away to the bathroom and cry if the baby talk gets to be too much.

I'm hosting this event at my house.

I can't simply find another person to talk to about something other than baby stuff with.

We're going to be at a baby shower.

If I feel like I'm am not strong enough and want to seek the comfort from my husband-a simple hand squeeze reminding me I am indeed strong enough, I can't.

Because well, I'm at a baby shower and the only "men" here are all under the age of 4.

But I'm still so excited, through the nerves, because we are celebrating a new life.

I will be strong.
Please dear God, help me to be strong.
I will smile and be happy for my SIL.
Please dear God don't let any emotions of sadness or hurt show on my face-if they decide to show up tomorrow.

So, as of right now I'm anxious but I'm hoping it's more because of the whole wanting everything to be special and fun and not because the cross of IF is feeling especially heavy at this moment.

I am super excited though because the decorations are looking cute and I made some cute onesies to hang on a clothesline for more decoration fun. My other SIL is bringing flowers and some other handmade decorations, my aunt bought a fun cake from her local bakery and my Gm is making yummy food to share. I'll post pictures after the shower!

Until then, I'm off to finish last minute things before bed. If you think of me tomorrow, please offer up a prayer that everything goes well and that I'm able to carry that IF cross without stumbling [too much]...

"One must be fond of people and trust them if one is not to make a mess of life.(E.M. Forster)