Questions for those that have had surgery before...

I guess the title says it all, huh?! I just have a quick question before I have to run out and get some errands done (we are almost all settled in at my GM's house, house hunting with resume again next week after I'm feeling better.)

Of the ladies that have had surgery done, whether it be the ovarian drilling, wedge resection, removal of endometriosis, or anything "down there"...how long after before the spotting stopped? I had the surgery last Tuesday and I am still having some spotting, mostly brown. It's not a whole lot, but it's more than I have had before and although my doctor said it would occur, we never thought to ask how long.

Thanks ahead of time to anyone who can shed some light on this for me!

Ignorance is bliss

I don't even know where to start typing right now...my mind is sort of all over the place. I guess I'll start with the day of the surgery...

We had to be at the hospital at 5am and I was cool as a cucumber. We checked in and the nurse was so sweet and answered all our questions, ok, really she answered all my husband's questions because I was, like I mentioned, cool as a cucumber. It still didn't feel real that I was about to have this infamous surgery that we had thought about, dreamt about, prayed about and thought about for so long now. It started to feel a little more real when I was asked to slip in the gown and socks and lay in the bed though.

Then it felt even more real when they gave me my IV...I was surprised when they didn't want to do it in my right arm where I always got blood drown from (I suggested this because this was where my best veins were located!)...but rather they needed to put it in my hand. Nerves definitely started sinking in at this point.

Then the anesthesiologist came by and discussed what he would be doing. The one thing I will say about the nursing staff and all those that worked with me on Tuesday is that they were so sweet and compassionate. They seriously made me feel like the most important person and like I was their only patients. I loved that.

My doctor came by and we talked about what she was doing and then she grabbed my hand and my husband's hand and led us in prayer.

At this point I was just about in tears. And not because I was scared of what would happen or what they may or may not find...but I had a sense of peace rush over me and I knew that that was exactly where God wanted me to be. I kissed my husband and was given some "margarita" through my IV and off we went...

Ignorance is bliss.

I woke up in so much pain. And I have a pretty high pain tolerance. I had no idea I would be aching so badly nor did I realize how groggy and out of it I would feel. In all my go.ogling days leading up to surgery, not once did I search for what to expect AFTER surgery. Oh boy, is ignorance is bliss. If I had known, my anxiety level would have been a bit higher.

The surgery took about 2 hours, I was in recovery for about an hour and then my husband came back and it took another (almost) 2 hours before I was "well enough" to make it to the car to go to the hotel. I slept 18+ hours after we got back to the hotel. My husband was so amazing, helping me get up and getting me food to eat so that I could take my medicine. I seriously fall more and more in love with him each day...

I'm switching between pain meds and extra strength tyl.anol and am healing. Each day gets a bit better. I will say this though, when I try and do too much at one time my body goes from feeling pretty damn good to feeling like it was hit by a ton of bricks. My DH told me not to be too stubborn and just relax! My GM told me the same thing today after I was trying to organize some things here at her house. Oh yeah, and when a nurse called and checked up on me she said the same thing...I guess I need to just take it easy!

I don't think that I thought too long or too hard about the fact that I was having actual surgery because I thought I would be back to normal by now. Call me crazy, but I usually bounce back from sickness and other things pretty quickly, so I just assumed this would be no different. My doctor told me that for everyone, it's different and although some may be fine in a few days, others take up to two weeks or so. I hope that I fall somewhere in the middle! Thankfully my DH, Gm and family have been incredible with showering us with prayers and support during all this.

Ok, after typing all this out I realized that I haven't mentioned specifics about the actual surgery...so here goes: The wedge resection and drilling went great. She said that my ovaries looked great and my uterus looked great also. She found mild endometriosis and removed it and afterwards my tubes looked wonderful (she did the dye test and it flowed WONDERFULLY she said). She said that she was impressed that everything looked so beautifully (her words, not mine...never thought I would hear those words!) and that she was glad she found and removed the endometriosis. I have stitches in my belly button and over my left ovary and down by my uterus which I'll go back in two weeks to get removed.

Oh yeah, my old Dr. that referred us to this new doctor actually showed up to the hospital to assist during the surgery and to talk with my husband. He said he has worked with us for so long he was eager to help. It was so sweet to know that he didn't have to be there but stopped by to show his support.

Sorry this post is all over the place...I blame it on exhaustion, pain meds and excitement that everything is over...

And I'm off!

I'll be back post surgery [ohmygoodnessicantbelieveit'shere!!!]...
Possibly post move depending on how busy things are!

Ps...today's readings, gospel and homily at Mass were so wonderful and came at such a perfect time for us. I was truly moved. And something that I love so much, is reading others blogs who talk about the readings also, it's as if we were all sitting together at the same Mass! That's definitely something I love about the Catholic Church!

Recent happenings: Surgery Scheduled

I'm at my apartment's computer lab so it's WAY easier to blog! YAY! I wanted to start by posting a picture that I took, on my phone, earlier this week:

I saw it and HAD to take a picture...too neat not to! [It's a heart in case you couldn't tell! ;)

Ok, now on to what's been going on...
I got the call this morning. Yes, the call about this much talked about surgery. It is scheduled for Tuesday morning, July 27th. Oh my. I guess it's really happening. We will head down to San Antonio on Monday and stay til Wednesday. I know that I shouldn't be worried or nervous or anxious...but I would be lying if I said that I wasn't. I haven't really slept well at all these last few nights because I can't stop thinking about packing, moving, storage units, house hunting, cleaning, surgery...etc. I just keep telling myself that next Friday it will all be something of the past.

For now though, OHMYGOODNESS. I'm just trying to stay calm. Having so much going on has meant that I haven't thought too much about the surgery, which to me is a good thing and a bad thing. Good because I can't over analyze or worry [too much] but bad because I (pity party alert) haven't been able to really think about it! I wish that I could stop...breathe...and really cherish this time because we have looked forward to it for so long now. But, HIS timing in all of this is perfect and although it's still hard for me to understand, I am continuing to trust.

Some people may think I have nothing to worry about with this surgery, or that it'll be easy or whatnot. But for me, it's something that we have prayed about and thought about for so long. With this surgery comes so many possibilities and hopes. The anxiousness that God has led us here for a reason. The real possiblity that this MAY help me to actually ovulate which may help us to get pregnant. Something that hasn't really been able to happen the whole three years that we have been married.

I'm just trying to hang on to hope right now. That's the beauty in the beginning of this, the beauty in stepping into the unknown and trusting God...there's so many high hopes and that gives us so much excitement and so much joy. Of course, there's the flip side...the scary side that creeps in and all I hear is "what if it doesn't work, what if NOTHING happens as result, what if, what if, what if..." It's time like that that I try and remember that God is in control here and He will provide and take care of us and then I go back to thinking about the wonderful possibilities that may take place.

I just continue to pray for comfort, confidence and calmness with all that is about to occur with the move, house hunting and the surgery and anything else God might decide to throw our way.

Restlessness and impatience change nothing except our peace and joy. Peace does not dwell in outward things, but in the heart prepared to wait trustfully and quietly on Him who has all things safely in His hands. (Elisabeth Elliot)

Short cycle

This cycle, I was told to take prometrium to jump start my period and after my period ends, to call and schedule my surgery. Well, I started on Wed and yesterday was the last day! This is the shortest cycle I've had but surprisingly, I was s bit more crampy. I don't know what to think besides the fact that tomorrow I'm going to call and set up this appointment....

These next two weeks are certainly going to be crazy and filled with so much. Between the house hunting, the packing, finding a storage unit and moving in with my Gm until we find a house (our rent would go up $300 if we did month to month...no way, no how!) and surgery...well, I'm not quite sure how it's possible to do it all, but somehow God thinks we can and so we trust.


"Faith isn't the ability to believe long and far into the misty future. It's  simply taking God at His Word and taking the next step. (Joni Erikson Tada)

Quickie

Our computer will be out of commission for quite awhile. Please bare with me as I try to stay up on commenting and posting!

On the fertility front:
CD2. Once my period is over I'll call and my surgery will be scheduled that next week. So it's looking as if it will happen not next week but the week after!! Eek...

Prayer requests

It's late and I'm beat after a long weekend and busy day, but I wanted to ask those that read if they wouldn't mind saying a prayer (or two or three or however many you can spare) for two things weighing on my heart and keeping me up even though I'm exhausted:

1) I'm calling my doctor tomorrow to follow up about my blood work and to see if we can schedule the surgery. Like always, I'm nervous....

2) We put an offer in on a house we love today! A cute there bedroom two bath starter home. Since this is our first homebuying experience we are quite nervous but still hopeful!

Thank you ladies. Besides the above listed and (a not so important issue of) our computer still being dead thus making it hard to post/read/comment...I'm trying to remember to count my blessings!!

"Life's too blessed to be stressed!" -something my Gm use to always tell us growing up

Blood work done...

I did it. I completed the bloodwork that was necessary to do before I can schedule the surgery! Go me! (In my head here I am hearing a roaring of applause!) ;)

I was suppose to do it last Friday before leaving to CS for the wedding (which was BEAUTIFUL and I will explain more about that later) but somehow "ran out of time" and didn't do it. Then I promised myself that Monday (yesterday), I would definitely do it. But of course I failed to realize that it was a holiday so the lab was closed.

Not going to lie...I didn't mind. I know that I should have, because this lab work was the last thing keeping me from setting the date of the infamous surgery. However, I realized after the weekend and putting it off, that I was terrified.

Scared because THIS LAB WORK WAS THE LAST THING KEEPING ME FROM SETTING THE DATE OF THE INFAMOUS SURGERY. Makes it more real I suppose. I know noone in real life (ha,ha...sounds like I have "imaginary" friends) that has had this surgery or has struggled with IF and well for some reason scheduling this dang surgery has been more difficult than I ever thought possible.

But, last night I set an appointment online to go in this morning bright and early to do the blood work.

So...here I am:

Arm a little sore.

Heart rather anxious.

Waiting for the phone call from my doctor to say "Let's do this."

And I can do this. I know that God has led me here (I say this a lot and I feel it but I think it makes me feel better to reaffirm it, so I type it out) and I know that we are in good hands with my doctor. Fear of the unknown and fear of what may or may not happen has consumed me more than I would like to admit, but nonetheless, I am here and I am trusting.

I seriously NEVER thought I would be this anxious about simply SCHEDULING the surgery but I guess I never let myself think about it that much.

Well, that's all I have to say for now. I am in the middle of preparing dinner but realized that I needed to get this off my chest and so I did....

And I feel good.


There are always uncertainties ahead, but there is always one certainty--God's will is good. (Vernon Paterson)

Oh the anticipation....

Did she?

Didn't she?

Did she finally call and set up that appointment for the surgery next month?!?!

Ok, I don't want to leave you hanging anymore! I did call.

I was still nervous about doing it but I said a prayer, sucked it up and simply called. So yeah, I was nervous and called...was put on hold and then when I was finally connected they said they were sending me blood work that I needed to complete (no earlier than a month before the surgery) and send back in and then she would call me and set up the actual date for the surgery. So, I will do the blood work sometimes after the 1st of July and then go from there.

Wow. That wasn't a big deal AT all. I got off the phone and my hands were clammy, (yes one of those lucky women who get really sweaty when nervous, well who am I kidding, I get sweaty really easily anyways!) my heart was still racing a bit and the surgery wasn't even scheduled!

I'm glad that we are one step closer to it though. These last couple of days are just another reminder that I'm so done doing the medications each month just to be let down. This surgery will be a good thing. We have spoken to our doctor about it, we've done research and looked up testimonials online and have prayed a lot about it. It's definitely the next thing.

It's been so odd NOT taking medications these last couple of months. It had literally been over 2 years on medications and each month it seemed like all I was doing was counting and thinking about what cycle day I was on so that I would know what medication/shots to take. It's been really weird actually...sort of just "living" like a normal non-IFer... Part of me likes the idea that I am not taking all the meds because it feels sort of refreshing but then of course the other part of me thinks that these last couple months have been wasted. It's a bittersweet sort of thing. I will say this, being intimate with my husband has been better though because there's no pressure or timing consuming our minds thinking about not "wasting" days. It's been really nice...once again, just sort of "living" in the moments with him! Ok, I swear I wont go on and on about me and my husband's (amazing, awesome, sexy, fun, steamy...) time together! ;)

So that's it for now. I'm trying really hard to appreciate these moments though. As hard as it can be at times, right now I am ok with everything. I feel hopeful, happy and excited and well...since these times are far and few when it comes to trying for a baby, I'm going to take these feelings and run with it! I'm trying to keep thinking positive and trying my very best to make these feelings last as long as possible. So far so good.

Well that's all for now, since my DH left for work I've got some of my DVR shows to catch up on (Real Housewives of NY and Jersey, Bachelorette, etc...you know the really educational and intellectually stimulating shows!).

"Enjoy this moment. For this moment is your life."

Phone call

Ok, so I told myself that today I would call and set up the infamous appointment for the surgery next month. And.I.Did.Not.

I don't know why even simply making the phone call makes me nervous. It's crazy really. It's like I am secretly deep down thinking she is going to say, "Nope. Not going to happen. You are a lost cause..."

Ha.

Am I going crazy? I just need to do it already! I guess part of it is knowing that this surgery was one of our "and if nothing else works..." sort of things and well, calling and making the appointment makes is more real. So much hope and anxiousness and excitement all rolled into one for this surgery and the freaking phone call makes me nervous!

I don't need to worry about this though because I know that God has led both my husband and I here and we know that this is where we are suppose to be.

I will do it tomorrow.

I hope.

Goodness, I'm a mess and should stop typing while I'm ahead (I'm ahead right?! ;))


"By the anxieties and worry of this life, Satan tries to dull man's heart and make a dwelling for himself there." -St. Francis of Assisi

In the middle

Today I'm feeling sort of "in the middle" with my feelings.

Not super sad that things are the way they are in our [attempt at the] baby making world.

Not super happy nor do I feel overwhelmingly hopeful, either.

Just in the middle.

Next week I'm calling my doctor's office to set up the appointment for the ovarian wedge/ovarian drilling surgery. It feels a little crazy that I am even typing this. Oh nerves, please stay away! I want to be calm and trusting and NOT nervous at all.

We shall see how that goes...