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Wednesday, July 21, 2010

Recent happenings: Surgery Scheduled

I'm at my apartment's computer lab so it's WAY easier to blog! YAY! I wanted to start by posting a picture that I took, on my phone, earlier this week:

I saw it and HAD to take a picture...too neat not to! [It's a heart in case you couldn't tell! ;)

Ok, now on to what's been going on...
I got the call this morning. Yes, the call about this much talked about surgery. It is scheduled for Tuesday morning, July 27th. Oh my. I guess it's really happening. We will head down to San Antonio on Monday and stay til Wednesday. I know that I shouldn't be worried or nervous or anxious...but I would be lying if I said that I wasn't. I haven't really slept well at all these last few nights because I can't stop thinking about packing, moving, storage units, house hunting, cleaning, surgery...etc. I just keep telling myself that next Friday it will all be something of the past.

For now though, OHMYGOODNESS. I'm just trying to stay calm. Having so much going on has meant that I haven't thought too much about the surgery, which to me is a good thing and a bad thing. Good because I can't over analyze or worry [too much] but bad because I (pity party alert) haven't been able to really think about it! I wish that I could stop...breathe...and really cherish this time because we have looked forward to it for so long now. But, HIS timing in all of this is perfect and although it's still hard for me to understand, I am continuing to trust.

Some people may think I have nothing to worry about with this surgery, or that it'll be easy or whatnot. But for me, it's something that we have prayed about and thought about for so long. With this surgery comes so many possibilities and hopes. The anxiousness that God has led us here for a reason. The real possiblity that this MAY help me to actually ovulate which may help us to get pregnant. Something that hasn't really been able to happen the whole three years that we have been married.

I'm just trying to hang on to hope right now. That's the beauty in the beginning of this, the beauty in stepping into the unknown and trusting God...there's so many high hopes and that gives us so much excitement and so much joy. Of course, there's the flip side...the scary side that creeps in and all I hear is "what if it doesn't work, what if NOTHING happens as result, what if, what if, what if..." It's time like that that I try and remember that God is in control here and He will provide and take care of us and then I go back to thinking about the wonderful possibilities that may take place.

I just continue to pray for comfort, confidence and calmness with all that is about to occur with the move, house hunting and the surgery and anything else God might decide to throw our way.

Restlessness and impatience change nothing except our peace and joy. Peace does not dwell in outward things, but in the heart prepared to wait trustfully and quietly on Him who has all things safely in His hands.
(Elisabeth Elliot)

4 comments:

Leila @ Little Catholic Bubble said...

I am so hopeful for you! I can totally see where the fear comes in... so much hangs on this surgery. But I have no doubt that good things are going to come from this! What a great quote at the end!

JellyBelly said...

Although impending surgery made me anxious, it was a relief to finally have answers! I hope and pray that you aren't too nervous leading up to next Tuesday!!

Grace in my Heart said...

Your surgery is soon! I'll be praying for you!!!

mrsblondies said...

I know as I was waiting for my surgery I had a combination of anxiety and excitement. I hope yours goes well. You'll be relieved when it's done.