Sunday, May 23, 2010

Just because you're a parent doesn't mean you'll be a good one

I laid out by the pool yesterday with two of my girlfriends. I always enjoy doing this, it's relaxing and a fun way to catch up! We'll usually have a cold beverage and some magazines and people watch by the pool! So fun!!

However, yesterday at the pool I was so annoyed. I am amazed at some people who have children. There were 3 kids playing in the pool, two were about 6 years old and the other was 4. Their parents were drinking beer and playing sand volleyball OUTSIDE of the pool area most of the time. I was sitting there thinking to myself, "I would give anything to be at this pool with my own children." At one point there was a mom drinking her beer and smoking her cigarette by the pool and the little 6 year old girl goes, "Mommy, if I hold your cigarette and beer will you get in the water for a bit?" The mom just laughed and turned to her friends and continued to talk.

I just can't believe this. I definitely struggle with this. Seeing people who don't seem to care or even realize that they are parents. They don't see what a gift their children are. I don't understand how these people who don't really care are able to get pregnant so easily, without even trying!

My husband struggles with this also. He is a police officer and works nights in a not so great part of town. He, for the most part, is able to be the "strong" one emotionally when it comes to our fertility struggles. He is amazing like that and I'm so thankful for this because I can turn into an emotional mess when I hear about another pregnancy announcement, when I attend another baby shower, etc... However, when he goes on calls where there are 3 generations of women, all under the age of 40 living in the same house where the 4 year olds and 3 year olds are outside at 3 am because they have no one watching them because mom and grandma are drinking and getting high in the back, hurts him. He's told me that when he leaves calls like that he finds himself asking God, "why them? They don't even care that they have children! Why them and not us?" It's just so sad to see all the abuse he sees and not ask why.

I'm thankful for the moments where he has an emotional down because well, it's one way I'm able to relate. He's always so strong, logical and trusting it seems so I'm thankful for the moments he lets himself ask those questions, because after all we are only human! He doesn't let it get to him all the time but he how can you not after seeing it so much. He's a much stronger person than I am. If I was in his position I would simply want to take those children home with me! Or say something about their crappy parenting skills! Well, you get the picture!

So this post has turned into one about my amazing husband! :) I realized I haven't really mentioned what he does and so I guess this was a good way to tell a little about him! I'm sure there will be plenty more posts about him where I can brag about how awesome I think he is! ;) But for now, I'm off to shower...

"Having children makes you no more a parent than having a piano makes you a pianist."


alison said...

hey i just found your blog through your comment! and these sound just like my thoughts! i can't believe what your husband sees... i'm so glad my husband is much stronger emotionally, but sometimes I do like it when he breaks down too. it makes me feel less alone, and i know he feels these things too and just hides it to take care of me.

Faith makes things possible said...

I agree! It's so good to have the husbands emotionally stronger because really, having too emotional basket cases on certain occasions would not quite work! But yeah, seeing a bit of the emotional side (in regards to fertility and whatnot) definitely helps because I have definitely felt alone at times, even though he tries to understand. It's just different from a woman's standpoint.