Tonight, like most nights when my husband works, I had trouble sleeping, so I stayed up and watched a movie. While watching, thoughts would race about the "possibility of pregnancy" and so forth. It's really hard to concentrate during this dreaded 2WW, but most of you guys already know this. Today, I had pretty much felt the same, ie: sore boobs, emotional, and cramping. Those dreaded could be this or could be that symptoms...
Well, after the movie I thought, "heck it's after midnight, so technically 13 dpo so why not test again!?". Before going, I decide that I would offer up a quick prayer because if I saw another negative I had to remember to trust. Full of hope I go and grab one of my books that I find so many great quotes from (He and I) and asked the Lord to give me some inspiration. I prayed he would lead me to the exact page and phrase that he wanted. Then I opened and read this:
"Repeat this often; 'Father, may your will be done. May Your will be done..."
My heart started racing and I knew that's what He wanted me to see.
I then skip off to POAS, ok, not really skip but I'm not going to lie, I was rather excited.
I POAS and set it aside, wanting to wait the full 2 minutes before peeking.
And as I'm finishing up and waiting, I notice something...
Spotting.
Yeah, my heart dropped.
I cried.
Then saw the big fat negative on my fancy shmancy dollar tree test and really started to cry.
So, AF may be making an entrance sooner than I thought. I know, "it's not over til it's over" ie, AF showing up, but I guess it's just hard to see the spotting right now because I wasn't expecting that at all.
"...Father, may Your will be done. May Your will be done..."
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17 comments:
Oh Sweetie, I'm so sorry.
Sending you hugs and prayers.
I'm so sorry. Praying for you.
Big big hugs.
That happened to me two months ago...I remember how badly it hurts. Praying for you.
Today is CD1 for me as well. :( I'm going to just repeat that passage all day long--"May your will be done."
Praying for you! May God give you peace and strength to live in the moment and follow Him each day. I am sad for you. I understand the hurt and disappointment. I have never had a positive preg test (over 9 years ttc). I pray that your cross gets lifted soon and that your miracle of life starts growing inside you!
So sorry. Most of us bloggers swear that nothing brings on CD1 like POAS. Or wearing white pants.
Sorry.
So sorry girl!!! You are in my thoughts and prayers!!! I so wish I could be there for you and give you a hug!!!
Ann, interesting that you'd say that, because I was on day 42 of my cycle, POAS twice and the whole thing turned pink both times (what the?!) so went to have blood work done just in case...was starting getting a little excited.. spent the day with my husband....wore WHITE SHORTS that day, went to the restroom while we were out and SURPRISE. How nice. The nurse called me 30 mins later to say I wasn't pregnant.
PS - lesson learned - don't wear white pants or shorts!!!
I'm so sorry. :( You are in my prayers!
I'm so so sorry. Virtual hugs and actual prayers are for you today.
I'm so sorry.. :( Hugs and prayers your way~
I got so excited reading this that I got chills. I was SO hoping it was going to end with a positive test! And now I feel like crying with you. I'm sorry.
I am so sorry. Hugs and prayers.
Praying for you - that God's will be done, in His time. :)
I too have been TTC. We have been TTC for 2 and a half years, with a loss of a child half way through. I understand this prayer. Something that helps me is the 4th sorrowful mystery. We are to think of patience. Prayers to you. Blessings Catherine
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