CD14 follicle check

Lining...looks great!
Left side...16mm was the biggest.
Right side...23-24mm!!!!!

First follicle check this cycle and it looks great!

This is very exciting.

Pcos=sad dinky follicles.

Not for me this month.

The nurse was quite impressed.

I was quite impressed.

The hot flashes are so worth it...the clomid is doing something.

I don't think I've ever been so excited to take a shot in my life.

Hgc trigger shot...here I come!!

Now dear body, keep doing what you're doing and maybe, just maybe this could be our month.

I'm overfilled with joy right now.

There's hope this cycle.

LOTS of hope.

Thank you, Jesus!

And I even smiled...

Yesterday I attended a couple's baby shower. It was for one of my husband's co-workers, a fellow police officer.

I joined in with the talks about babies, birthing and breasts(feedings) with the glowing mommy to be.

The same mommy to be that has said things like...
-YOU need to get pregnant with me so I can have a preggo friend.
-Gosh, we don't even have to try and get pregnant-it's just so easy for us.
-You know if you want to be pregnant already, all you need is to take prenatals and drink water.
-If you can handle a dog you can handle kids. It's a good test on whether or not you even should have kids!
(Yeah, I wonder what she thinks now-now that we do not have our crazy dog anymore.)

I wasn't going to go originally.

I didn't think I would be emotionally strong enough.

But, in the end, I went because my dh is good friends and co-workers with her husband.

Meaning...it was important to him=it was important to me.

So yes, me and my non preggo belly stood next to her very preggo belly and took pictures...

And you know what?

I even smiled.

Nobody trips over mountains. It is the small pebble that causes you to stumble. Pass all the pebbles in your path and you will find you have crossed the mountain.

(Re)create.

Because I've mentioned it about one million times here, you all probably already know that that crafting helps keep me sane, ESPECIALLY in regards to dealing with fertility stuff.

I heart crafting.

It's good for my soul.

Here's a couple of my recent (re)creations...

I bought this chalk board on clearance at Target- I'm fairly certain I ran in for just toilet paper but because Target has this magical effect where you discover many more things that you need, I walked away with the chalkboard, nail polish, clearance place mats (that I hope to make into pillows) and a shirt. Anyways, here's the chalkboard:

I played around with paint so I could make it distressed and this is what I ended up with:



I knew I wanted to put it in my bathroom to write sweet little messages on (and to receive them!!) since we usually just write on the mirror with a marker. The extra perk, a place to hang some of my necklaces!



The other project I did was for my sister in law's birthday. It was my other SIL's birthday last week and I made her a sign so I decided to stick with making something for this SIL also. I took a 50 cent thrift store frame, painted it, stamped out a saying on fun scrapbook paper and added ribbon to hang it. She's a bit of a chocolaholic so I knew she'd like this:



And she did like it-I gave her that along with some yummy Pioneer Woman's chocolate cupcakes! ;)

I'm not sure what I'll do next, but since I was super impressed by this pretty lady's awesome furniture re-dos, maybe I'll muster up the courage to do something like that!!

Well, that's about it for now! Hope everyone has a wonderful (long) weekend!!

“True happiness comes from the joy of deeds well done, the zest of creating things new.”(Antoine de Saint-Exupery)

Tuesday Tidbits

-I started clomid on Sunday. This time I'm taking double. I'm really hoping it works.

-It's so strange but since I started taking the clomid, I've felt nausea on and off since yesterday...anyone else experience this?

-Next Tuesday I have my sonogram to view my follicles and I'm hoping and praying that my ovaries pick it up and do their part. Pleaseworkovariespleasework.

-Thank goodness for homeowners insurance, we got back last night and when we pressed the button to open the garage door it only sorta opened...and then it went all crooked...and then one of the windows on the door shattered everywhere. Eek.

-I can't believe my dh and I are so close to celebrating our 4 year anniversary. Craziness...beautiful, wonderful craziness!

-I've been running a lot lately. The most I've run in one setting was 5 miles last week. And I did not die. This is HUGE. ;)

-Although I've been pretty consistent with running, I've unfortunately been slipping quite a bit with drinking cokes and coffee. It's just so hard when I'm dragging and need a little pick me up.

-Lastly, anyone else having trouble with blogger lately? I've had troubles, on and off with leaving comments/getting comments.

-Sorry for the randomness of this post. I wanted to post something, random thoughts and all- hence the "Tuesday Tidbits" post title.

Hope everyone is doing well...you are all in my thoughts and prayers!

"Money can't buy happiness but it can buy ice-cream and that's kinda the same thing!"

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Rainy day crafts

Today it's been raining and dark and dreary (and CD3 ain't doing much for me either).

Which means, in order for me to keep sane, I worked on some crafts.

First, I bought a really fancy gold frame from the thrift store for about a buck and I've wanted to put this one quote, that I fell in love with, in it to go by the front door. I forgot to take a before picture but I did snap one of the back side, mid-painting, to show the gold in all it's glory...

And then I painted, cut up scrap book paper and wrote the sweet quote...



The only thing was that I wanted it by the front door but I had green flowers on my homemade coffee filter wreath that I made back in November. Since that wreath was a doozy to make, I did it with the intention of changing out the little decorations on it to go with the season. And well, I didn't have any fun blue or red flowers to go on it, so that the front hall flows with my new picture frame, SO I made two paper flowers...



Another view:



Also, yesterday was my SIL's birthday and I wanted to make something simple (pun intended) that she could hang in her apartment. All I did was paint a board I had, mod podge some scrapbook paper and then stamp out the word...



And lastly, even though I didn't make it...I'm certainly enjoying this while I'm watching the Rangers and hoping they can beat the Phillies...


Cheers!

"What I love most about my home is who I share it with." (Tad Carpenter)

Pep talk

I will ovulate this month.
I will ovulate this month.
I will ovulate this month.
I will ovulate this month.
I will ovulate this month.
I will ovulate this month.
I will ovulate this month.
I will ovulate this month.
I will ovulate this month.
I will ovulate this month.
I will ovulate this month.
I will ovulate this month.
I will ovulate this month.
I will ovulate this month.
I will ovulate this month.

So I can get pregnant.

Gasp!!

CD1 came today.

I saw that coming with my stellar progesterone results of 5.5.

Here's hoping this cycle is better...

"Never, never NEVER give up."


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5 point stinkin' 5

5.5 was my progesterone this month.

MAJOR grr.

There were lots of tears shed today.

And I felt like someone punched me in the gut and i couldn't breathe.

My goodness...last month I was higher without meds and this month with meds I am lower!

(On a side note, is it possible to be an every other month kinda gal? I mean in the past since my surgery I am noticing that every other month my progesterone is higher, with or without meds. It never seems to fail that if my progesterone was highish one month, the next month it's lower. I am going to ask my doctor about this but I thought I would get yalls opionion in the mean time. Thanks.)

Still though, I just don't get it.

When the nurse told me the number I said, "That's not good."

She said, "Don't give up just yet on this cycle, I've seen quite a few women get pregnant with 5 and below."

I wanted to respond with, "Yeah right...you're just saying this because you want me to not feel like crap and cry right here on the phone.

But instead I said, "Ok."

I immediately got off the phone and cried.

A whole stinkin' lot.

My heart hurt.

My head hurt.

My body hurt.

Then I went to the living room to regain my composure and offer up a prayer for strength and courage.

I looked out the window in to our backyard and saw them.

Two beautiful blue jays.

I've associated blue jays with my grandfather since the night before his accident that ultimately took him from us here on earth, I had him and my grandmother over for dinner and there was a blue jay SIIIINGING and cherping outside the dinner room window.

My Gm loved blue jays.

He was like my father and so many times I pray that he intercede for me because he cannot be here on earth to offer his wisdom and courage.

And when I saw those blue jays sitting outside my window I cried and thanked him.

I've got some pretty amazing people praying for me.

And I trust...

In God's timing.

In God's timing.

In God's timing.

NOT mine.

His.

I keep telling myself this today and am feeling a bit better.

When my husband woke up I told him the news and he just held me while I cried some more. I told him that I was so sorry that my body had failed us again and that he would be yet another month fatherless on my account. And then he said one thing that touched me to my core,

Do not apologize. I am most definitely not sorry for this month. It was one more month of us growing closer to one another. Learning more about one another. Another month I got to spend with you. I wouldn't trade it for anything.

He really is amazing and there's times I wonder how he got stuck with such a mess of a gal.

My heart melts just thinking about how good that man is to me.

Incredible.

Amazing.

...

Well...I'm off to relax and get ready for bed.

Trying to pick up the pieces from todays not so great news and remind myself that tomorrow is another day.

I'm still not giving up...

“Patience is waiting. Not passively waiting. That is laziness. But to keep going when the going is hard and slow - that is patience.”

I met a REAL life blogger friend! ;)

Guys, this was huge for me.

I'd seen so many posts about blogger girls meeting up and talking for hours and well...

I wanted that.

Then, I got an email from this Pretty lady about meeting up since she would be heading up my direction before Easter.

Of course I was on board!

When she finally arrived in town and was able to step away for a bit (she's got two young ones!) we decided to meet for breakfast.

I'm not going to lie...I was a bit nervous.

What if she and I didn't hit it off?

What if conversation was boring?

What if

What if...

WHAT IF!

The morning before, I had met with my Gm and, although she knows I have a blog, she knows it's sorta private in the sense that I don't share it with people I know. And well, when I mentioned I was meeting a blogger in real life, this is how our conversation went;

Me: "yeah, I'm a little nervous but more excited about meeting Lisa."

Gm: Silence

Me: Just rambling on about the meet up and other random things...

...
...

A few moments later...

Gm: "I was watching the television the other night and there was this report about this lady who met a guy on mat.ch.com and well, he wasn't what she thought and he ra.ped her. It want good at all. And well, just watch out!"

I totally didn't see that coming but reassured her that I was never going to meet a stranger anywhere but a busy, public place and that she had nothing to worry about! (Oh sweet Gm!)

Anyways back to the meet up, in a nut shell I arrived at the restaurant and sat and my car and "scoped" things out a bit, said a prayer conversation would flow and went in.

And the conversation did flow and it was great! I was nervous for no reason! She's such a sweet person and I am in awe how she prays for those of us struggling with IF even though, she does not.

All in all it was great and I most definitely look forward to another meet up in the future!

Now if only I had more blogger friends that lived closer to me in Texas, I could meet y'all in real life also!

I'll sign off with a picture from our meet up. We thought it would be funny to have one where I'm holding up my phone to my face because that's usually how I post pictures of myself!!

"Friends are those rare people who ask how you are and then wait for the answer."

If you have a moment...

Would you please say a little prayer for me this morning?

I'm heading into my doctor's office for my progesterone check and would really like it to be better than last month's. Especially because that was without meds and this month I took clomid.

Thanks girls!

Blessed John Paul, pray for us.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Easy gift idea

I was thinking about this post yesterday and onto today.

I thought of writing about how I woke yesterday full of confidence about this cycle and full of hope that maybe, just maybe this was our cycle.

I thought about writing about how my dh spoiled me with hugs and kisses and "you're going to be a mama soon and you will be the best one ever!"

I thought about writing about how the day was great.

Then, I thought about writing about how I basically skipped into Mass with that confidence and hope that I had when I started the day.

I also thought writing about how when the priest told everyone to stand that was a mother to be given their blessings, I lost it.

All my confidence and hope seem to disappear and I broke into to tears sobbing and yearning to stand alongside those other women.

My only saving grace, my amazing dh holding my hand tighter than normal and whispering sweet things in my ear and also, the cute little girl in front of me staring with such concern over my tears. When our eyes met, she gave the sweetest little smile, so as to reassure me it was ok.

After Mass and lots of hugs and prayers, my confidence and hope were back. And thankfully the rest of the day was great, spent with my dh, and my brothers and their others. Oh yeah, and this little guy:

My sweet nephew! I got lots of snuggles in with him and that was great.

So yeah, that's what I was going to talk about but instead, I decided to write about my gift I made for my Gm and MIL for mother's day. ;) This gift, hand scrub, can totally be done for any occasions and was super easy and super cheap.

Here's the supplies and the final product:






Here's the link where I got the idea! And I tried some of it and it left my hands feeling really soft! My Gm is a avid gardener so that's her's on the left and my MIL's on the right.

Well, I hope that each and everyone of you ladies had a good day yesterday. Or if not a good day then I hope that you at least survived it.

It's a new day.
Don't give up on that hope.

"PRAY. There is immeasurable power in it."

Happy Mother's day

Happy Mother's day to all the current mamas, soon to be mamas and trying to be mamas.

Love,
"Faith Makes Things Possible"

CD18 (for reals)

I went back and counted my days and realized I was off...today is actually CD18 which means yesterday was actually CD17.

And also, last night I saw some ok cm...which is a blessing because like I mentioned before-this cycle has been dry!

I'm just going to go ahead and say THANK YOU to all those that are praying for me and reminding me to no give up just yet on this cycle.

Your prayers are working it seems.

So there's still hope for this cycle after all...


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CD18

It's CD18 and so far I've seen nothing.

Nothing.

Grr.

I mean, yesterday I was feeling twinges in my lower back and on my right ovary-so I thought maybe I was going to ovulate...

But my cm would beg to differ.

I seriously haven't been this dry in so long. Even the last two months that I did clomid I saw something.

I have been taking mucinex and vitamin b6 on my own accord, since my doctor isn't a Napro doctor a so cm isn't is top concern.

Thankfully I still have notes from when I was seeing my old napro doctor so I knew when/what to take, however this cycle is proving to be a tough one.

I'm obviously not giving up hope for this cycle just yet-I'm just not sure when I should officially throw in the towel.

I mean, it's mighty tough to get pregnant with little to no good cm and that is exactly where I am at this point in my cycle.

Maybe after I have my blood drawn for this cycle I'll discuss plans about next cycle, you know ways he think I can improve the uhh...dryness.

Or maybe a miracle will happen and we will actually conceive and be able to ring in our 4 years of marriage (yay June 9!!!!) with a special gift from above.

A girl can dream, right?!

"Don't get discouraged. It's often the last key that opens the lock."

I'm proud...

...to be an American.

I'm proud of my husband who served two tours in Iraq and sacrificed so much.

I'm proud of all those that have served/are serving in our military.

I'm proud that we did not give-up the fight to find the terrorist leader that attacked our soil on 9/11.

I'm proud that our troops took down the man that has killed hundreds of thousands of people all over the world.

Adios Osama-you will not be missed.

To all our military-your work was not in vain...THANK YOU!!!!

I am most definitely proud to be an American!!!!